• "Is it wrong to ask my partner for a threesome?"

    Question:

    My partner and I have recently started looking for a threesome with another woman. Would it be wrong of me to ask if another man could be in the room? Or even if the other male can join in?


    Answer:

    Threesomes and moresomes are interesting. Lots of couples flirt with the idea and plenty use it as fantasy fodder or the theme for dirty talk.

    Trouble is, once it's actually happening and you're having the surreal experience of watching your partner's penis disappear into someone else or their tongue wiggling its way up someone else's thigh, it suddenly doesn't seem like such a good idea.

    It takes an incredibly secure person to cope with it.

    Yes, it's sexually exciting and if you're with someone you don't care about that much, it can work.

    But be warned: the emotional fallout can be disastrous.

    If you still want to proceed, I think it's totally acceptable to want to add a man to the mix.

    That's not to say your partner's going to be thrilled though. Many men (and I'm assuming your partner is a man, so forgive me if I've got it wrong) will happily watch their girlfriends or wives cavort with another female.

    It's a standard male fantasy.

    Watching you make out with another man however, is a completely different matter. That's competition. Not just for your affections but his manlihood.

    Say the guy has a bigger penis? Say he lasts longer? Say you look like you're having a much better time with this new guy than you do with him?

    But if he denies your request to include a man, you're well within your rights to say you don't want a woman in the bed for exactly the same reasons.

    If you want to get the thrill of a threesome without the risk, why not try visiting a lap dancing club and getting a lap dance with him there?

    Alternatively, you could phone a sex worker and put her on loud speaker as you have her talk as though she's in the room with you.

    Tracey Cox Dare - What Happens When Fantasies Come True

    Comments (1)

    • trickybiitch: May 27, 2008 14:45
      Both my husband and I had threesomes before we got together, but it was when we were single, before we met each other, and the other people involved were unattached too. We talked for many months about doing it again and went over every possible scenario, good or bad, that could possibly occur, just to see if we could honestly handle it all, because we value our marriage too much to risk damaging it.
      We are both very secure with one another which is essential in these situations. We took our time about finding a third partner and eventually found a wonderful man who we regularly see together, and I also see him alone now and then. Both he and my husband are 100% straight so there is no sexual contact between them but they get along great and have become good friends.
      I'm bisexual and also saw another woman for a few months. She knows my husband too and I was hoping the three of us would get together, but she wasn't attracted to him. I hope that we meet a nice woman so that he can experience the two of us together, as, like Tracey Cox said, it's a standard male fantasy, but also, I KNOW how mind-blowing it can be for all concerned if you take things carefully and work through any potential problems honestly and thoroughly.
      If you are TRULY ok with seeing your man make love to someone else, go ahead, but it would hardly be fair if he were to deny you the same pleasure, would it? Again, that's up to the two of you to discuss and reach agreement on. My husband's last partner wanted to see lots of other men but got insanely jealous if he even spoke to another woman, even though he was happy to be faithful to her.
      Our relationship works because we are totally honest with each other in every way. We accept that when a new person is brought into our relationship they are a bit of a novelty and that attention will be primarily focussed on them at first. Can you both handle that?
      As long as you are completely honest with your feelings you could make this work, but don't go ahead unless you are TOTALLY comfortable with it. If your relationship is strong and you care enough about each other it can enhance things in a way most people can't imagine, but there is the potential for exploitation and and a lot of heartache if you don't communicate properly and accept each others boundaries.
      Best of luck to you both. x
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