• "My partner has been losing his erection during intercourse. What can we do?"


    I've been with my partner a year and sex is amazing but just recently he's been losing his erection during intercourse. When he does maintain one, he ejaculates quickly leaving me frustrated.

    We have discussed the problem but can't work out why it's happening and it's putting strain on an otherwise wonderful relationship.


    Men lose erections for all sorts of reasons: stress, tiredness, a side effect of medication (particularly anti-depressants), the result of too much to drink or an unhealthy lifestyle - all could be responsible, so look for physical reasons first.

    If that's not turning up answers, try to trace back when it first happened. It might simply be that he lost his erection during a sex session a while ago, for a totally plausible reason (too much to drink for instance) and it freaked him out a little.

    The next time you made love, he secretly panicked it might happen again - and, of course, it did. Penises are terribly sensitive and respond to fears and insecurities almost as much as an enticing hand, mouth or vagina.

    I suspect he ejaculates quickly once he does manage to maintain an erection because he's terrified it will go away at any moment, so tries to rush to the finish line to convince both of you all is OK. Take the pressure off for a while. You don't need an erect penis to have a great time in bed!

    Get him to use his hands, mouth and maybe a vibrator to keep you satisfied. You do the same to pleasure him. If he loses his erection at any moment during the session, just ignore it.

    Continue stimulating him with your hands or mouth to see if that brings him back to life but if it doesn't, don't panic. Just switch to him pleasuring you or get him to masturbate himself. Erection problems often fix themselves once the couple stop staring at it.

    Fix your love life fast

    Comments (3)

    • chegors: July 29, 2008 18:50
      ive been with my partener now for 2 years, she's wanted to hav a three-some for a while now, but ahe wants it wioth another women, she likes other girls and checks them out if they walk past, but she also tells me she loves me, i dont no what to do, if i say ok, im worried she'll turn into a lesbian, i dont no which answer to give her?
    • Mick: August 03, 2008 10:09
      Regarding "Chegors" concern about his partner wanting a three-some with another woman, I can say from experience that FFM is a very good scene to be involved in. Find out if she has anyone in mind, and what is the existing relationship between them. She is probably just bi-curious, and it will answer her questions, but he should bear in mind that if he tries to stop her, she will possibly look elsewhere for it, and go behind his back, which will do more harm than good for the relationship. If she's going to turn lesbian it is beyond his control anyway, and it will show out sooner or later. There are a lot of women who live a bisexual life very happily because they enjoy the best of both worlds, from which he can also benefit!! I would say that by the sound of it, if he tries to control her, he will lose her anyway.
      I know it is a long comment, but there is no one-word answer to his situation.
    • raj: October 30, 2008 20:30
      hey tracey nice to meet u
      well im 24 from uk and i got very bad habit of internet porn and if i dont watch for 3 days i feel i m missing something and i watch it quickly and it always in my mind that i wanna watch internet porn and i m really tired to stop this habit but due to alone in my life being single i cant stop when im tired bored alone or anyway.

      so hope u gonna help me to stop this activity and i wanted to be normal human being

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