"I've never had an orgasm with my partner of four years. Any tips?"
I have been with my partner for nearly four years now, and have never had an orgasm with him. The last time I had one with a guy was about seven years ago.
When I'm on my own I can orgasm quite easily. I think I have got so used to it on my own, it seems impossible to achieve it with my partner.
He seems to want to masturbate more often than have sex, I'm not sure if this is down to him thinking he's not satisfying me, or if it's just a guy thing.
I do enjoy the sex, but feel I need to relax and enjoy it more. Can you give me any tips?
It's a myth that couples orgasm effortlessly together. In real life, less than half of all women regularly orgasm with their guys (the stats for lesbians is higher, surprise, surprise).
So don't feel bad about it - it's not unusual to orgasm easiest when you're solo and masturbating. To orgasm with him you need several things to be happening.
First up, he needs to use the technique that does it for you. Secondly, you need to feel safe enough emotionally to let go.
Thinking your partner would prefer to masturbate rather than have sex with you isn't pleasant and it's certainly not the right head space to orgasm in. Time for an honest conversation.
Tell him your fear that he doesn't really enjoy sex with you (because this is essentially what you are saying). Tell him what he needs to do to you to orgasm with him.
If your masturbation technique isn't couple friendly, you need to teach yourself to orgasm using one that you can teach him. Especially make sure he knows there's absolutely nothing wrong with you and given the statistics, other girlfriends who claimed to orgasm with him were probably faking.