• "My girlfriend doesn't like receiving oral sex. How can I change her mind?"


    I been with my girlfriend for 8 years and she has always been quite off about receiving oral sex.

    A year ago she said she was just worried she didn't taste or smell right, which I said was nonsense as I love it!

    She told me at the weekend that she just plain doesn't like it. She's fine with me being down there using my fingers, but she said the feeling of a tongue down there 'freaks her out'.

    Is there any way of changing her mind, or am I stuck?


    For a women to enjoy oral sex, she needs to feel comfortable about her body, convinced her partner is also comfortable with it and that he enjoys giving doing to her.

    You sound like you've done your bit but she appears to be struggling with her part. There are some people who just don't enjoy the feel of a tongue on their clitoris but if it's done well, most people do.

    First up, check your technique is good and she's not disliking it because it's actually not terribly enjoyable. Make sure you're not too rough, too dry or too fast.

    Keep it simple, wet, slow and slippery. (There are good guides in nearly all my books but especially detailed ones in Hot Sex and supersex.)

    If you're convinced your technique isn't to blame, ask her if she's ever had a bad experience with it. A lover saying she smelt or tasted bad stays with us.

    Also ask her what messages she got from her parents about sex. If they made her feel like it was something 'dirty', she may be still secretly convinced. Don't give up, keep her talking.

    Heat up your sex life

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