"I want to try anal sex with my boyfriend. Should I get some desensitising cream so it won't hurt?"
I want to try anal sex with my boyfriend so I bought a small, penis-shaped butt plug to try to get myself used to having a penis inside me.
But because I've never tried it before, I was thinking of getting some desensitising cream so it wouldn't hurt so much. Is this a good idea? And when and how should I use it?
I am strongly against using desensitizing cream when it's your first experience with any type of anal penetration. The reason why is that pain is nature's warning sign that something is wrong. Unless you've chosen a hefty-size butt plug - and if you have, swap it for a beginner's butt plug - it shouldn't hurt.
It may feel uncomfortable as you insert it, but it shouldn't be uncomfortable or painful once in place. There is no need for desensitizing cream, instead invest in some good quality anal lube.
Anal lube is a thicker consistency than normal lube, lasts longer and stays slippery for longer. Use plenty of this before you insert the butt plug and bear down, as though you're trying to do a poo, as you insert it gently.
It helps massively if you're aroused, so perhaps get your boyfriend to reach around to massage your penis as he's inserting it. If you're trying it solo, watch some porn to arouse you.