"My husband of three years won't give me oral sex any more. What can I do?"
My husband of three years and I have different sex drives. We are both in our early 20s and when we first got married we had sex 4-5 times a week. Now I'm lucky to get it once every 3-4 weeks.
He also used to give me oral sex fairly often, and now on the rare occasion we do have sex he won't, but expects me to give him to him. I have refused because I think it's unfair.
When I ask him why he doesn't give me oral sex anymore he says he just doesn't feel like it and I can't get him to expand on it much more than that.
How do I get him to want sex more without pressuring him too much and how do I get him to give me oral sex again?
It's normal for the frequency of sex to fall when a couple get married but that's one hell of a decline! Coupled with his sudden refusal to give you oral sex, it's even more alarming.
I think this is much more than just a sex problem. How is the rest of your relationship? If he's being so selfish and uncompromising in this area, I suspect he's doing it outside the bedroom as well. Is he angry with you or resentful about something else that's happened?
It sounds as though he is withholding sex, and particularly sex that you like, namely oral - as some sort of punishment. I'd suggest you wait until you're getting on well and then have it out with him.
Tell him you love him and used to enjoy your sex immensely and you don't understand what's happening. Present it as a problem you have as a couple, rather than something that's his fault. If he isn't interested in talking then, couples counselling is really the only way forward.