Sex Advice: 6 secrets to giving him a hot hand-job
Most women I know are more nervous about stimulating a man with their hands than they are about giving oral sex.
So here's the back to basics, step-by-step guide to a great hand-job...
1. Pick your position Are you left or right-handed? Which is you best side? All too often, women try to deliver the goods in a position that feels uncomfortable or unnatural. You are allowed to move, you know! Don't be scared to deviate from the usual side-by-side position, either. Try him standing in front of you and you sitting on the edge of a bed, or him hovering above you, straddling your tummy as you lie on your back.
2. Use slippery stuff When men do their own five-finger salute, they often slap on lubricants (if he doesn't, he has no idea what he's missing!). A dry penis is a sensitive one - it likes gentle stroking. Saliva is better than nothing, but clever girls come prepared with a tube of good-quality personal lubricant. He's used to using lube, so don't feel remotely embarrassed about squeezing some into your palm.
3. Get a grip Lots of women make the mistake of being scared of his most prized part. Holding it between a finger and thumb, as though it's as fragile as spun glass isn't sexy, it just makes him think you don't want to touch it. Be nice, be firm and take a good, hard, confident hold, then move into a well-practised, confidently executed technique. Place all your fingers on one side, thumb on the other or make a loose fist.
4. Practise till you're a pro The basic motion you need to master is: slide up, circle and slide down the other side. Here's how it works: grasp your hand firmly around the base of the penis and slide it upwards until it reaches the head. Once there, pause, rubbing the palm over the head in a small, sexy circle, then let your hand drop naturally down the other side of the penis, grasping the shaft until you're back at base camp again, but on the opposite side with your hand facing the opposite way. Try alternating, doing the same motion 10 times with each lasting 3-4 seconds, then add one quick, firm pump-up-and-down stroke.
5. Employ back-up No matter how deft and clever your handiwork, most men enjoy and often need extra stimulation to intensify and speed up the process of orgasm. So while one hand is working on his penis, use the other to cradle his testicles or stroke a nipple. Use your tongue on his testicles, nibble his neck, the inside of his thighs, his nipples. Try holding one hand in an 'L' position at the base of his penis, holding it firm as you work on him with your other hand. Putting pressure on the perineum just when you feel he's about to orgasm is especially effective.
6. Use props If he, and you, are adventurous types, use a small, cylindrical vibrator (called a wand vibrator) as well as your hands. Hold it on his testicles, perineum or use it to play around the opening of the anus. Alternatively, grab a silk scarf or strand of beads, wrap it around your hand or the shaft of his penis and slide it up and down the shaft and over the head.