• "When my girlfriend gives me oral sex, I ejaculate but I can't orgasm again. Is this a problem?"

    Question:

    When my girlfriend gives me oral sex, I ejaculate as normal. But, even after a few hours rest, I'm unable to have a second orgasm. My girlfriend is taking this really badly, petrified that she isn't satisfying me.

    I love what she does and tell her constantly but she seems to think it's her fault when I don't come the second time around. She's even saying it's making her not want to have sex with me. How can I reassure her and why is this happening?


    Answer:

    Some men are able to orgasm several times a day, with rest periods in between, others aren't. It depends on a whole host of things including how young and healthy you are, genetics and how much pressure you're under to perform. I suspect with you, it's the last scenario.

    Her reaction is causing you so much stress you now have a mental (which quickly turns into physical) block about second orgasms. There's nothing sinister going on here, so be reassured there's nothing wrong with you.

    As for how to convince her of the same, here's how you do it: Tell her you wrote to me or read up on the topic and what's happening is entirely normal. Tell her it's got absolutely nothing to do with her oral technique and that you adore having sex with her.

    I know you've done all this before, but this time you're backing it up with 'evidence' that your response is normal and no reflection on her whatsoever. Lots of guys find it difficult to orgasm through oral sex full stop - no matter how exemplary the technique.

    To be frank, she's being a little silly and immature to react like this and saying she'll stop having sex with you altogether is an unnecessary and unhelpful threat. Be kind but also be firm with her.

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