• "I have absolutely no confidence when it comes to being on top during intercourse. Any advice?"


    I have absolutely no confidence when it comes to being on top during intercourse. I'm completely clueless! I start to get into it, then I think about what I'm doing and then get embarrassed and stop.

    My boyfriend says it doesn't matter to him, but it matters to me. Please can you give me some advice?


    First up, stop being embarrassed about it - I get this question more often than you think! Most of the time it's him on top, so women have much less experience of it. Feeling self-conscious doesn't help either. Being on top is a bit like riding a bike: if you concentrate too hard on what you're doing, it all gets terribly wobbly and you're likely to fall off!

    You're better off clearing your head and letting your body do what comes naturally. This will come when you feel more comfortable but in the meantime, try doing this: Straddle him so you're resting on your knees and use your upper thigh and bottom muscles to lift yourself up and down in a rhythmic fashion.

    Grab onto the bed-head or the wall in front of you to keep your balance and provide a surface to push off from. Close your eyes so you don't feel self-conscious. Then thrust in little spurts, stopping when you feel too self-conscious or feel tired, and let him take over in the interim.

    Get him to hold you around the waist and lift you up and down or you stay completely still as he thrusts underneath you. It also helps if you keep your thrusts quite shallow. Use a grinding more than a thrusting motion so that he's less likely to fall out and hold onto the base of his penis with one hand so you've got control of it.

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