Sex Advice: Watch and learn - masturbation techniques to use on her
The only, absolutely guaranteed way to find out how your partner likes to be brought to orgasm manually is to watch them do it themselves.
Watching your partner masturbate isn't just sexy, it's the most informative sex lesson you'll get. Too embarrassed to demonstrate? Close your eyes as you're doing it. I don't care if you're dying behind those eyelids, the benefits of doing this far outweigh the angst, so stop being a wimp and get on with it.
Where she places her fingers at the very start
Does she use lubricant or saliva to make the area slippery? Does she go straight for the clitoris or touch other areas of her vulva or body first. What position is she in? What does she do with her spare hand? Does she stimulate her breasts?
What pressure, speed and rhythm she uses
It's fine for her to show you how she masturbates using her vibrator, but more helpful if she can repeat the process at some stage using just fingers. Look at the angle of her fingers, what part of the finger she's using, how many, how she's rubbing, how hard and how fast. Does she concentrate purely on her clitoris or alternate between this and inserting a finger/fingers inside? Does there appear to be an order? Put your hand over hers to feel as well as see exactly what's happening. If she's shy, sit behind her and let her lean back against your chest, relaxing between your legs, then put your hand over hers. Don't stay in this position, though, you need to move back in front of her to observe properly. Get her to close her eyes if she finds this threatening.
What alters from her first touch through to to orgasm
It's probable she'll stick to the same technique on approach to orgasm, and it's also likely it won't alter much (apart from speed) throughout the whole session. Women tend to like unpredictability in orgasm, and rather than craving variety with hand masturbation are often happiest if you do exactly the same thing each time. As always, though, just because most women like something doesn't mean all do. Watch to see if she stops and starts or keeps moving her fingers continuously.
What are the tell-tale signs she's approaching orgasm
You'll probably notice her clitoris will become more erect, the colour of her genitals will become redder and brighter, she'll breathe differently and her nipples may harden. Lots of women tip their heads back and lots briefly develop a red rash on their upper chest. What are her personal signals?
When does she stop stimulation?
This is crucial and the most important part of the whole exercise. One of the most common mistakes men make when masturbating a woman is stopping too soon. Our orgasms take much longer than yours, so you might be surprised (not to mention jealous) to see she keeps moving her fingers for much longer than you do when you do it to her. Note also the pressure and speed. Does she increase both, then decrease significantly during orgasm. At what point does she withdraw her fingers completely?