• "We use the stop-start method with sex but now he lasts for ages and I can't climax. Help!"


    I’ve have been with my partner for five years and at the beginning at the relationship he would ejaculate within a minute. We used the ‘stop-start’ method and now he can last up to one hour.

    But all the stopping and starting puts me off and I find it hard to climax now. Is there anything else we can do or try?


    The stop-start method - him stopping thrusting completely whenever he feels close to orgasm, then resuming when he feels back in control - is highly effective for controlling premature ejaculation. As you’ve found out.

    But it’s not particularly designed for long-term use. Instead, it’s supposed to get him to the stage where he can recognize the point of ‘ejaculatory inevitability’: when it’s all over bar the shouting. If he’s truly mastered this, he shouldn’t have to keep stopping but instead hover at a stage where he feels in control. Get him to try thrusting continuously but slower and shallower than usual which he’ll find less exciting. That might do the trick.

    Also get him to masturbate to orgasm about an hour before having sex with you to up his chances of lasting longer. Another option: try holding a vibrator on your clitoris if he wants to stick to the stop-start method to ensure you climax. Or get him to give you oral sex before penetration so you come that way.

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