"I'm in love with a man twice my age, he feels the same but is worried about the difference. Help!"
I used to visit a gentleman’s house to look after his dying wife, as I was working as a carer at the time. After she died (15 months ago and I cared for her for one month only) we remained friends.
I visit him about once every two weeks and sometimes we go out. Thing is, I have fallen for him but he’s 68 and I’m 34. I told him how I felt last summer and he said he feels the same.
But he’s worried about the age difference and doesn’t want to lose my friendship if it all goes wrong. It’s tearing me apart because I really do love him.
Love never comes with a guarantee but the reason why relationships with big age differences tend not to work long-term is that the couples lack ‘points of reference’ - they haven’t shared similar experiences which basically means they lack things in common. Sounds to me though, that you have developed a great friendship over the last year and a half so have plenty in common.
Age is not necessarily an indicator of compatibility. He’s obviously a young 68 and you’re obviously not your typical 34-year-old in that you appreciate what an older man has to offer. True, it might all end in tears - and you have to face the fact that he will in all probability die way before you - but going out with people your own ages might end in tears as well.
Grab happiness while you both can. Tell him that, to you, age is irrelevant and you’re willing to put the friendship at risk for the sake of love, though you are confident you will remain friends even if it doesn’t work out. Suggest you try going out for a few ‘romantic’ dates and then see how you both feel after that.