"Lately I've been 'getting off' to the thought of my boyfriend with another girl. Help!"
Lately I've been 'getting off' to the thought of my boyfriend with another girl. Normally, and I'm the first to admit this, I am the jealous type. I get so paranoid about him being around other women, as he has a history of cheating.
I usually fantasise about him having sex with another woman, in a threesome involving me, but giving her more attention and getting more pleasure from her. This usually makes me climax, during sex and masturbation.
I feel so oddly about this. Help!
Our fantasies often take us to places we’d never ever want to visit in reality for various and varied reasons. In this case, I think you’ve subconsciously concocted this fantasy to help you deal with your fears of your boyfriend straying.
By taking it through to the worst possible conclusion – he not only cheats on you, you’re there and to top it all off, he ignores you in bed and gives her all the attention. Rather than be appalled by this, you’re turned on by it.
The brain often plays games like this, trying to help us deal with what life throws at us. While the theme obviously points to insecurity you’re your boyfriend’s fidelity, I really wouldn’t worry about this fantasy any further. Go with it. I suspect when you relax into your relationship, it will simply disappear.