"I lied to my lover about how many men I've slept with. Should I confess?"
I’m 37 and don’t really know how many men I’ve slept with but am guessing it’s over 30.
The man I’m now with asked me how many before him and I said six, because that’s the average. It’s a lie and I’m terrified he’ll find out. Should I confess?
No. It’s none of his business what happened before he met you and how is he going to find out? Unless you’re still in contact with all the men you slept with and plan on some bizarre ex-boyfriend get together, it’s highly unlikely isn’t it?
I’ve always thought it’s absolutely no-one’s business how many people have been there before them - not even for safe sex reasons. If you used a condom with all 30 guys you’re still a safer bet than the girl who has only had one lover and didn’t. Whenever people do confess, it inevitably backfires with people making all sorts of assumptions.
You can’t reduce your sexual history to a number because you’re removing emotions and circumstances. So you lied. Join the club. Most women do lie - 10 lovers is the standard answer for a woman of your age - because most men can’t handle knowing there have been more.
What’s more important is why he asked the question. There are two main reasons why men do: to find out if they’re special and if you’re more experienced than he is. He’s may also be worried he’s not measuring up - literally. Reassure him on these counts and don’t worry about the rest.