"How can I introduce a vibrator to our sex life without intimidating my boyfriend?"
My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, but recently I've found myself getting a little curious about introducing a vibrator into the mix. At first he was extremely doubtful about this and not too keen to tell the truth, but as we began to talk it through more he has become a bit more accepting.
However, he mentioned a concern about using a vibrator during sex with me (I suggested a clitoral vibrator rather than anything too threatening). He says he's heard that using a vibrator close to the penis can cause blood vessels to burst and so we "couldn't use it like that anyway". Is this true?
No it’s not true, though I have to say I don’t know too many men who like a vibrator used on the head or shaft of the penis, even though it is perfectly safe. Men tend to get more pleasure if you use it on their nipples, testicles or the perineum (smooth, hairless bit between his anus and testicles).
I think the whole idea of adding a vibrator to the ‘mix’ is a good one and yes, a small, non-threatening clitoral vibrator would be just the thing! A bullet vibe is around the size of a tampon but nice and strong and a great one to start with because it’s not phallic shaped. Let him use it on you during penetration to show him just how much more effective and easier it is to provide much-needed clitoral stimulation during intercourse using a vibe.
Fingers (yours or his) are fine but sometimes it’s awkward to reach the clitoris, they get knocked around and it’s hard to keep the stroke gentle if he’s thrusting hard (bit like trying to rub your head and tummy in two different directions or speeds!). Your boyfriend sounds like he’s still a little nervous about being ‘replaced’ by your vibrator, so I’d strongly suggest you don't let him see just how easily you can climax with it, when compared to his mouth or fingers. Instead, use it to ‘tease’ yourself rather than sprint straight for the finish line, even if you are tempted to show off!