"My girlfriend won't shave 'down there' unless I do. Is she being unreasonable?"
I’ve recently started a relationship with a woman who is younger than myself, she's 23, I'm 37. My partner is shaved, which I enjoy, however, it wasn't something I requested, she's always shaved. We've started watching the odd porn film together, and she commented how she would like me to shave also, like the porn guys, which is totally bald, sack ‘n’ crack, the whole lot. I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea myself and have so far resisted. My partner, in protest has stopped shaving. As she was already shaved when we first met I think she is being unreasonable, tensions have resulted from the whole situation. Any advice would be appreciated.
The ‘razors at dawn’ shave-off tickled me pink. Sorry, but you have to admit it’s funny. First up, does she really shave or does she wax? I think you probably mean wax. Certainly, the ‘sack’n’crack’ (removing all hair from around the base of the penis, the testicles and the anus, for our less informed readers) usually involves waxing rather than shaving. While a mouthful of hair isn’t pleasant, neither is getting a rash from stubble.
Now we’ve got that out of the way, here’s how I see the situation: while we each (obviously) should get to choose whether we keep or remove hair on or around our genitals, we also have a responsibility to our partners to take into account their preferences. After all, they’re the ones that are down there, potentially fighting a forest, during oral sex. There’s a compromise in there.
Have you offered to trim the hair around all those areas to make it pleasant for her when she’s close to you? You never know, you might like the look and the feeling. Certainly, lots of people say they feel ‘cleaner’ and it does tend to encourage your partner to give you more oral. If you have trimmed the hair short and your girlfriend is still complaining and refusing to do the same, then this is about a lot more than pubic hair. I am a huge fan of age-gap relationships (having had more than the odd one myself) and do think they can work well but this reeks of a power play on both sides. Could be she’s just trying to show you how unpleasant it can be dealing with super hairy genitals. Or could be she’s trying to prove her power generally in the relationship for some reason?