"I seem incapable of being faithful, how do I stop doing this?"

Question:

Even when I’m really in love with someone, I can’t stop looking at other girls or sneaking the odd snog with someone I fancy. It’s not that I don’t care about the person I’m with, I just seem incapable of being faithful. I’m 30. How do I stop doing this?

Answer:

Looking at other women doesn’t make you unfaithful - just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you won’t find other people attractive. Snogging them, however, does count as infidelity (a mild form of it in some people’s eyes, just as bad as full sex in others - but infidelity all the same, to most, if you’ve agreed to be sexually exclusive.) One part of me says this could simply be a case of you not ready to settle down yet. You’re 30 not 50. You’re a guy, so it’s not like your biological clock is ticking furiously. Have you tried just being single and playing the field for a while to see if it’s just a case of getting it out of your system?

Think about what you’re getting from these snogging sessions with strangers (apart from the obvious novelty thrill). It could be insecurity on your part and/or a fear of getting hurt - you need and get an ego boost through attention from other women or perhaps you’re secretly worried the woman you love will leave you and you want a back-up and/or proof you’d still be able to pull another. In other words, try to establish if it’s a simple yearning for variety or something more dire at work?