• Hot Topic: Are you feeling threatened by the 'mummy porn' Fifty Shades effect?

    Sex Advice: Are You Feeling Threatened By The 'Mummy Porn' Fifty Shades Effect?

    Millions of women are tearing through the Fifty Shades triology, a series of books that has a handsome, well-hung and (of course) stupendously brilliant-in-bed billionaire Christian Grey as its hero. But how do men feel about it?

    The Times ran a fabulous article recently about men’s reactions (“Twice in Half an Hour? My worst fears are on these pages”) but panic not! Here are some tips on how to make all the hype (and horniness) work for you.


    If she says she loved the book, ask what she loved about it.

    Don’t be literal and assume it means she wants to be thrown around the bedroom. For lots of women, Fifty Shades of Grey is the first erotic book they’ve read. She could simply have enjoyed reading about sex which had a plot involved and a character she could relate to.

    Don’t feel threatened, embrace it.

    Instead of thinking you have to perform better and getting performance anxiety, think of it as an opportunity to suggest all the things you’ve always wanted to try in bed but were too afraid to ask.

    Take baby steps.

    If she seems more up for trying new things, that’s great but if you push her too far out of her comfort zone, she’ll run for the hills. Introduce something a little naughtier, not a lot naughtier, let her get used to it, then keep going.

    You do need to lift your game.

    Women do expect more. They expect men to understand how to give a woman an orgasm. Sure, every woman is different and she needs to give you feedback in order to get it right. But you should know the basics. Educate yourself. Buy a few good general sex books - Hot Sex, Supersex and Sextasy are all good general guides from my range of books. Read the bits that explain the difference between male and female sexual systems: they are different, so you can’t work on the principle that what works for you will feel good for her.

    Accept that a lover isn’t born but made.

    A lot of sex is instinctual and primitive but to be a really good lover, you need to research and practice good technique. You can become a better lover even if you don’t have a partner by reading good sex books which talk about how to turn on a woman. She Comes First by Ian Kerner is an excellent start, as are the ‘How to be the best lover she’s ever had’ sections in all my books.

    Call in the Calvary

    Don’t believe the book where the heroine orgasms purely through penetration - only 30% of women can orgasm this way. To up the chances, invest in a slim discreet vibe like the top-rated Supersex Bullet Vibrator and hold it in place.

    Send your love life to Sextasy

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