Sex Advice: How to get his mojo back

Approach it as a couple problem that’s no-one’s fault: the person who wants sex more isn’t ‘sexier’ or ‘better’. Don't place blame, and instead work together as a team.

Confront the problem

Talk about what’s going on. You can’t shut people up talking about sex at the sexy start of a relationship, but just when you really need to talk - when things aren’t going great - you’re both quieter than a boyfriend fresh from a stag weekend. Ignoring it and not having sex becomes the elephant in the room.

Take a look at his lifestyle

Reduce stress wherever possible, get a medical to rule out any physical problems, check the side effects of regular medication (anti-depressants can reduce his desire faster than thinking of big knickers). The fitter he is physically and the less he drinks, the more likely he is to want sex.

Let him focus on giving you pleasure

If he’s feeling under pressure to look turned on (ie get an erection), getting him to focus on you instead will make him far less anxious.

Sex doesn’t equal intercourse

If he’s not up for sex, have a bath together, cuddle lots, sleep naked - anything to keep skin-to-skin physical contact going.