• "I get distracted and can't stay 'in the moment' during sex"

    Question:

    I find I often get distracted during sex and start thinking about things which are totally unrelated. It’s not that I’m not enjoying it, I just drift off.


    Answer:

    If you’re like most people and lead a hectic life with lots of balls in the air, this is normal. But it’s not ideal (obviously!). Being ‘in the moment’ and concentrating on the sensations you’re feeling during sex ups your enjoyment considerably. Try spending time winding down a little before having sex – practically diving into bed after rushing up the stairs having just turned off your laptop/done the dishes/taken the dog for a pee, isn’t going to inspire you to lose yourself. Also try keeping your eyes open rather than closed. (That’s to watch the action, not ponder what colour to repaint the room.) Another good way to focus: talk to your partner during lovemaking and tell him how good everything feels.

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