• "I am 40 year old virgin. Is a prostitute the best solution?"

    Question:

    I am a 40 year old virgin (yes we do exist!) who was waiting for the right woman to come along but she never arrived. I did consider a sex worker but didn’t want the first time to be so throw away. I work in a male environment so don't meet any women there and I don't go out socialising because I work long hours. I haven't told anyone I’m a vigin but I feel some people have an idea: they just don't say anything but it’s like the elephant in the room. I like women and feel comfortable in their company but I lack self confidence when it comes to sex. How can I overcome this problem and do you think that a prostitute is a good idea after all?


    Answer:

    In some parts of Europe, it was customary in the past for a father to send his son to a Madame at the age of 16 who would teach him how to make love to a woman properly and deflower him. There was a lot to be said for that custom - not only did the son get a practical lesson in how to be a great lover, he was able to lose his virginity in a safe environment, away from ridicule.

    You’re understandably anxious about being a virgin and there is an argument for just getting that first time out of the way any way you can. This might mean having a one night stand with someone you possibly wouldn’t necessarily want to date (remembering to always wear a condom or making false promises) or it might mean going and paying for it. I know several men who have done either of these things and probably would do the same if I was in that situation. But this may not suit you.

    After all this time, you might figure it’s worth waiting until you meet someone you really like - and I hopefully don’t need to tell you that you do actually need to go places where women are, in order to meet one! The obvious question then is: do you tell her or not? If you do, you risk her feeling freaked out and possibly running away. If you don’t, you might embarrass yourself by being the worst lover she ever had or perhaps ejaculating before you even get to do the deed. There’s no hard and fast rule for this: the best advice I can give is it depends on the relationship. If she’s warm and loving, I’d tell her. If she’s quite sassy and you’re a little in awe of her and not sure of her reaction, don’t. If it’s all over and done with in the first thrust, just blame it on her being so damn gorgeous.

    Inexperience doesn't necessarily mean less pleasure for her - it can be the opposite. As a virgin, you’ll probably try harder. Educate yourself by reading a few decent sex books, let her guide you if you’ve confessed and you’ll figure it out pretty quickly. Good luck with it and remember: while you might not be the norm, there’s nothing wrong with you!

    Fix your love life fast

    Comments (2)

    • Laura: July 07, 2013 10:18
      My boyfriend is 33 year old virgin and we have yet to do the deed as he is quite nervous just like you. We have been building up to it though with foreplay etc. I think he was glad he waited to find someone rather than throwing away his virginity to just anyone. Focus on finding someone you care about because if the first time isn't that great then you can have fun practicing to get better rather than feeling embarrassed and maybe not wanting to try again.
    • lyndsey: August 14, 2013 09:57
      I was a 32 year old virgin waiting to find someone right for myself. It never happened. I took the bull by the horns and slept with a very dear and close friend.
      We still are friends, he didn't know he was my first.
      Looking back on my first time I gave no regrets.
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