"He Fancies Me But Can't Get An Erection. What's Wrong?"
I’ve never had a problem with men fancying me but of course it’s happened with the one guy I really think I have a future with. We’ve been going out for six months and he’s equally as keen but he hasn’t been able to get an erection. We’ve even talked about marriage (he’s 24 and I’m 27) but I can’t help think it means he secretly doesn’t desire me. He says it’s never happened before and it’s because he wants so much for our sex to be perfect but this just makes me feel worse! What do you think is going on?
Oh dear. I don’t know who to feel more sorry for – your poor boyfriend or his poor penis! What I think is going on, is exactly what he’s telling you: he’s so nervous about wanting everything to be perfect, he’s got a classic case of performance anxiety. This isn’t unusual when people meet someone they think is ‘The One’.
While it doesn’t sound like a compliment that it’s never happened before, it is. If he couldn’t care less what you think, he’d probably get an erection in seconds, but faced with the woman of his dreams, suddenly his penis gets stage fright. It happened once and he was so mortified, the next time you had sex he was even more anxious so it happened again.
And there begins the vicious cycle. It does NOT mean he doesn’t desire you, it means he desires you too much. The more you relax about this and convince him it really doesn’t matter and that his mouth and fingers (and your trusty vibe) are more than enough to satisfy you, the quicker he will relax and his penis will come back out to play.