How Do I Have Great Sex If I Don't Like My Body Anymore?
We've all had those confidence-shattering moments of looking down during sex and seeing a not-so-attractive glimpse of wobbly thighs or breasts that are less than bouncy.
While I won't bore you by rattling on about the 'beauty is skin deep' stuff, I can tell you a recent survey showed while weight does matter to men initially (they'll pick the slim girl over a plumper one from photographs), once they're in a relationship, they see your 'bumps' as curves. A man in love really does love all of you - and perceives what you see as faults (aka: fat bits), as signs of fabulous femininity.
Stop yourself focusing on negatives by doing the following:
- Pick three things that you do like about your appearance. It might be your hair, your breasts, your calves - it doesn't really matter what it is, just focus on the parts you like. Indulge yourself in that area. If it's your breasts, splurge on some great bras that really show them off and don't be in any hurry to take them off once in bed (leaving something on, is sometimes sexier than being naked.) If it's your legs, distract yourself from a not-so-flat tummy by spending an age taking off those fabulous boots (or better still leaving those on along with the great bra!) When you're having sex, deliberately focus on those areas, not the parts you dislike.
- Focus on what you're feeling, not how you're looking. Concentrate on what's happening to you, how his fingers or tongue feel on your flesh, on how he feels once inside you. Sex is about what's happening on the inside, not the outside.
- If you're feeling less than attractive, don't say no to sex, just make it sex you feel comfortable having. Put tea lights on the floor so you're lit from below - it's far more flattering - and do it from behind. If you lean forward over a big stack of pillows, you feel like your wobbly bits are out of view but he gets the glorious back view. Believe me: rear entry sex, with your bottom high in the air, is one of the most flattering intercourse positions. Missionary is one of the least complimentary.