• The Best Sexy Present for Christmas: How to Make an Arousal Chart

    Tracey Cox Supersex Bullet Vibrator

      Ever wish you and your lover came with a set of instructions? Here’s how to write your own…

    • Why it works: Early sex is fuelled by passion - a brilliant smokescreen for hiding what the two of you are actually doing to each other. Long-term sex is fuelled by technique, imagination and effort. In other words, the longer you stay together, the more you need to know exactly what turns you on, where/when/how. The more specific you are and the more you each know about your ‘triggers’ (places or things which never fail to make you aroused), the easier it is to keep your sex life steamy. Making an arousal chart helps you rediscover things you’d forgotten about or discover new things you didn’t know you liked.

    Props you’ll need:

    • Some sort of noticeboard. Pins. Some plain white cards. A private place in your bedroom to hang it but where you’ll also see it at least twice daily.
    • If you don’t fancy the idea of a board, grab a big sketchpad and stick the cards inside it, then shove it under the bed away from prying eyes.

    How it works:

    • You’re going to make a list of ‘sex favourites’, write them on the white cards, stick them on the board and update them twice a week for a month (or once a day for seven days if you’re particularly motivated/not terribly busy right now/on holidays).
    • Think about how appealing food is when you walk past a restaurant and you get a delicious waft of your favourite food. Even if you weren’t hungry, all of a sudden you’re ravenous! The board does exactly the same thing, except with sex. You’re reminding yourselves of everything that turns you on.

    Here’s a sample of the sort of things you could use as headings for the cards:

    • What’s my favourite place to have sex?
    • Time of the day to have sex?
    • Favourite kissing technique?
    • Which sex toys do I like using, where and how?
    • Where do I like being kissed most?
    • What position/place do I find best to give my partner oral sex?
    • What position/place/technique do I like best when receiving oral sex?
    • What’s one thing I’d like more of sexually?
    • What’s one thing I could live without?
    • What’s my favourite part of foreplay?
    • What’s my favourite part of my body?
    • Their body?
    • What part of my body do I most like being kissed/touched/licked?
    • What part of their body do I most like kissing/touching/licking?
    • My favourite fantasy is…
    • It turns me on during sex if I’m wearing…
    • It turns me on during sex if they’re wearing…
    • My favourite position for intercourse is?
    • I like intercourse most when it’s fast/slow/lasts for (how long)?

    Don’t forget: Update the cards regularly but keep the old ones pinned underneath. It’ll remind you of stuff you’d forgotten about.

    x

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