• Part 1: He's Too Big/She's Too Small - What Can You Do When Your Bits Don't Fit?

    Hot Sex advice book by Tracey Cox

    We all worry too much about the size of our genitals. About 85% of men think penis size is important to women, most women think men crave someone with the vaginal muscles of a Thai sex worker. In reality, there’s really only one instance when a small penis or large vagina cause problems: when the owner is so paranoid and insecure about it, they’re constantly apologising, seeking reassurance and inhibited in bed as a result. Now, that really is boring!

    By all means try to even things up using the right position and other tricks or tips listed here, but then please relax and enjoy! This week I’m talking about men who are generously endowed with women who are quite tight. Yes, it’s the problem both sexes sort of wish they had but in reality causes lots of problems. Be careful what you wish for!

    Next week: I’ll be focusing on the opposite: he’s small, she’s larger.


    She should:

    • Make sure you’re fully aroused before he penetrates. When you get excited, the vagina expands and lubricates so he needs to spend loads of time on foreplay so you can accommodate him.
    • Push down with your vaginal muscles while he’s penetrating.
    • Comfort yourself with logic: your vaginal muscles are elastic enough to take the biggest penis - after all, you deliver a baby from the same place!
    • Try massaging the entrance of your vagina with a water-based lubricant for several minutes before intercourse. He can do it as part of foreplay - it relaxes the area and should make sex more comfortable.

    He should:

    • Squeeze that tube of lube! Even if she’s wet to start, keep it by the bed to keep things slippery if she starts to get dry.
    • Penetrate slowly, a little at a time, and stop each step of the way so your bodies can become accustomed to each other. Let her control the insertion. Try penetrating from different angles to see which feels most comfortable. If you’re really big, she might not want full penetration. Keep thrusting shallow and gentle.
    • Have intercourse just before she’s about to have an orgasm from oral sex or manual masturbation, so she’s as prepared as possible.

    Prime positions:

    • Choose positions which don’t allow deep penetration. Good bets: her-on-top, so she gets to control the depth of his thrusts or side by side (both lie on your sides facing each other. She rests her upper leg over his hips and he penetrates her). Or missionary with a twist: she lies on her back, he penetrates from on top. Then she tightly closes her legs to minimise access as he thrusts - this not only helps control the depth of penetration, it also feels better for him because he’s thrusting between thighs as well as into her vagina.


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