Affairs: Truth and lies
There are as many affair myths floating about as there are myths about female orgasm (like the one that says we all orgasm during intercourse and at the same time he does!). A lot are equally as ridiculous, so let’s sort the truth from the lies.
The ‘I was drunk and it just happened’ excuse:
Bollocks! I’ve got lots of friends in long-term relationships and we’re all rather fond of a glass of wine (bottomless, that is). I’ve seen many of them sloshed, solo and surrounded by a plethora of available, tempting people but - miraculously - having a one-night-stand doesn’t ‘just happen’ to them. Or me. Funny that.
Alcohol does indeed loosen inhibitions and cause us to make a poor judgement call. But since most of us have figured out, by age 15, that’s what alcohol does, most decide it’s logical to stop drinking, once they feel themselves cross the line between merry and legless. Particularly if the hot little piece in the corner is inching closer on the bar stool. Come on! At some point, they went to the loo, looked in the mirror and thought ‘This is getting dangerous’. But instead of heading home, headed straight for the bar and got another drink. Hmmm.
Affairs are sometimes a good way to bring a problem to a head:
True - but an extremely risky way to do it. If you thought the problem was bad before the affair, try tackling it after one. An affair isn’t the way to draw attention to a problem, talking is.
You should always confess:
False - If you’re confronted with solid evidence, yes. But if your partner has no idea and is unlikely to find out, no. All confession does is lift the guilt off your shoulders - and drive a stake through your partner’s heart. If you’re truly sorry, stop having the affair, confront the reasons why you’re having it and become the sensitive, loving person your partner deserves.
Most affairs don’t last once out in open:
True - Secrecy and forbiddeness are the two main attractions - in other words, the appeal often isn’t the person, it’s the actual affair. There’s also a high level of mistrust: you know they’re capable of it, they did it with you! (And vice versa). For an affair to survive, it has to be based primarily on love - which often isn’t the case.
Few people leave their long-term partner to be with the affair person:
Usually true - Especially true if this isn’t their first affair and they’ve been caught before. Why would they leave? They’re getting security and stability from the person-at-home and erotically charged sex and excitement from you. And plenty more where you came from, honeybunch.