• Bondage for beginners

    Tracey Cox Bondage Tape

    Whether you loved or hated Fifty Shades of Grey, I’m betting you both came home from the movies with a dangerous glint in your eye! Lots of couples world-wide have been tempted to try out some of the scenes - and with tie-up games first on the list, it makes it the perfect time to talk you through the basics of bondage!

    What is it?

    Put simply, bondage is about two things: restricting someone’s movement and having or relinquishing power. Add a ‘pain’ element like spanking, and it turns into B&D.

    Why would you want to do it?

    Being tied up means you can lie back and relax and enjoy someone giving you pleasure, without feeling like you have to reciprocate. If you’re the one in control, you’re ‘forced’ to be dominant and bossy and basically act out all the things you’ve secretly longed to do (like the master/save, teacher/pupil fantasy). Because it’s all about one person having power and the other having their wicked way, it lends itself beautifully to role play.


    What are the no-no’s?

    • Never let someone tie you up unless you know them well and trust them completely.
    • Don’t get drunk. Tiddly is OK but too drunk and you’ll tie them up too tight, forget where you put the keys to the cuffs, decide it would be hilarious to snapchat your partner tied to the bed (not funny, not even a bit - a dumpable, chargeable offence even).
    • Have a safe word. Part of the fantasy is often one of you begging for mercy so how do you know if it’s pretend or for real without a code? Safe words are something that’s unlikely to come up. Like the name of a colour. ‘Red’ means stop, ‘Yellow’ might mean ‘OK but don’t go any harder’.

    What should I use to tie them up with?

    If your partner’s a bit nervous, use paper streamers that are easily broken. Once they relax, swap that for some silky scarves or old stockings.

    • Furry handcuffs - padded with fake fur - are way more comfortable than the traditional iron hand cuffs. B & D enthusiasts would argue that being too comfortable defeats the purpose, but the first time should be non-threatening.
    • Bondage tape is also a great idea. It’s sticks to itself but not to the skin and you can easily unwind it or cut it off. She’ll love my hot pink bondage tape

    What do I do once I’ve tied them up?

    Talk dirty, give them oral sex, make them give you oral sex, try some anal play or rimming, lightly spank them, bring them almost to the point of climax then pull away, have intercourse, tie them up in different positions (on all fours or legs spread), tie them to a chair or with their arms above their head. Tease relentlessly - whatever you do, do it for a little while, then stop until they beg you for more..

    Want more info and ideas for tie-up games? Check out next week’s blog post.

    Tracey Cox Sex Advice Books

    Comments (1)

    • Freakout: July 05, 2008 09:00
      These types of vibrators can be good for solo play by putting the vibrator just under the head of your penis (vibrator to the front works best). By doing this the vibrations will make your penis stand to attention very quickly and make the head rock hard.

      A nice little tip is for her to put the ring part round the head of your penis and turn it on before a drive home, you want to get home really fast, if you don't pull over before then.

      Unfortunately some of these devices are "one time only" so buy a lot or look out for ones that you can replace or charge the batteries because you will love it.

      The downside to these devices is due to the size they usually only offer 2 speeds - off or on.

      Check out the what other reviewers have said about this device by clicking on the "Supersex Love Ring" link (above).


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