• How to talk dirty without feeling like an idiot Part 2

    Supersex Remote Control Vibrating Love Egg

    My last blog talked about how to get the attitude right, now it’s time to put your mouth into gear. Here’s everything you need to know to talk your partner into a lusty state you never thought possible - cringe-free!

    Sexy words to use:

    Bite, eat, nibble, scratch, suck, lick, taste, grab, grind, thrust, deep, hard, swallow, ravish, shag, screw, tight, erect, stiff, cum, orgasm, tease, touch, fondle, push, pull, slap, pinch, juicy, hot, soft, throb, horny, wet, hungry, open, need, want, big, aching, greedy, nasty, tasty, gentle, gorgeous…

    Good things to say and try:

    I love touching you. Do you like it when I do it here/hard/soft/like this/like that? I love licking you. Which way do you like it best - like this or that? Demonstrate by using your tongue on the palm of her hand or sucking one of his fingers. Your bottom is so divine. Do you want me to spank it? Do you want me to put a finger inside you? Can I kiss you here?

    Things to never, ever say or do:

    I hate it when you do that. God, that’s so irritating. Deliver a criticism without a compliment before it. Susie used to cum in about two seconds flat. John used to do this thing with his fingers and I really miss it. Could you give it a try? The hottest sex I ever had was with this Swedish backpacker on a beach. Why don’t we ever have sex on a beach? Shout, ‘And you’re rubbish in bed!’ in the middle of an argument. Say, ‘Why don’t we ever do this or that?’, in an accusatory, whiny voice. Use the word ‘should’ instead of could you or would you. Say, ‘That’s not normal. I can’t do that, I’m a feminist!' Be insensitive to their limitations – if she always takes 20 minutes to orgasm, don’t shout ‘Cum on my face!’ two seconds in. Make dirty talk sound like a demand or criticism.

    Now go for it!

    • Pitch your voice lower than usual. If you’re shy, whisper in their ear so there’s no eye contact or try blindfolding them, or letting them blindfold you.
    • Keep it simple to start. Describe what he’s doing to you. ‘You’ve got your hands on my breasts’. Add what that makes you feel, ‘….and it feels wonderful’.
    • Describe what you’re doing or about to do to him. ‘I’m going to take your penis in my mouth and suck it’.
    • Add what that makes you feel, ‘…and it makes me feel powerful. Like you’re in my control’.
    • Encourage her to talk dirty to you by asking her, ‘Do you like that?’, ‘What does it feel like?’, ‘Do you want more?’, ‘What would you like me to do to you now. I’ll do anything…’
    • Let them know where you’re at arousal wise. ‘Ummm, this is starting to feel really nice’ or ‘God, I’m so close to cumming’.
    • Talk about how good the two of you are together, ‘God, I so love our sex together’.
    • Compliment body parts. ‘I love your muscles’, ‘You’ve got the best ass I’ve ever seen’.
    • Pause, draw back and let your eyes totally devour what’s in front of you, then look them straight in the eye and say ‘You’re beautiful. I want you so much’.
    • Let her know how much you want to please her, ‘I’m going to make you cum so hard, you won’t know what’s happened’.
    • Let him know how good he looks ‘I love watching your face when you come.’
    • Give a blow-by-blow description of what’s going on, ‘Your tongue feels amazing. That’s just amazing. Keep doing it. Don’t stop’.
    • Read out something sexy from a book or a magazine while your partner works on you with their fingers or tongue.
    • Pay attention to body language. Just because they’re not saying anything or coyly refusing to look you in the eye, doesn’t mean they’re not enjoying it! You might feel like an idiot saying all this stuff but they feel even more ridiculous saying, ‘You know what? You calling me a slut and a whore is quite the turn-on!” It’s humiliating to admit you like being humiliated and that hearing filthy things come out of your partner’s mouth is doing more for you than freeze-framing Don Draper on screen. Is he getting harder? Is she getting wetter? Are they breathing harder? You’re doing just fine, so keep going.
    • Use dirty talk to give some cunningly disguised direction as well. ‘Use that gorgeous wet tongue of yours to lick me right there. Really soft. Get it really wet. Swish it around. Just like that’.

    For information on prepping for a steamy dirty talk session, see Part 1 of How to talk dirty without feeling like an idiot. For more advice from Tracey on bringing sexy scenarios alive, check out A step-by-step guide to acting out your fantasies from the archives.

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