Anal Sex Prep Guide: Part 3: Positions and Techniques
This is the third in my anal sex series, so if you haven’t read the previous two blogs, I’d strongly recommend reading both Part 1: Anatomy, Prep and Protection, and Part 2: Fingering and Rimming beforehand to make sure you’re fully prepared.
Anal penetration isn’t one of those ‘I know, let’s try this today!’ type of sex acts! It’s something you need to have really thought about and ‘trained’ for. So don’t attempt this until you’ve done your homework.
This guide can be used to penetrate with both a real penis or the strap-on variety.
The 6 Secrets to Successful Anal Intercourse
- Be safe. Use lots of good-quality anal lube, use good-quality condoms or both get tested for STIs.
- Don't double dip. Never go straight from anal intercourse to vaginal intercourse without washing thoroughly first. It transfers all sorts of things into the wrong places.
- Prepare properly. Never attempt penetration without first inserting fingers or anal toys. The rectum needs time to get used to things inside it!
- Think before you eat. You both want to be relaxed. Tucking into gas-inducing foods like onions, chickpeas, broccoli or cauliflower is not going to add to the experience, if you get my drift!
- Go to the loo. Void beforehand and have some baby wipes nearby, just in case. Put an old towel down to protect anything you don't want stained (some lubes stain and you won't be skimpy with it!). The rectum delivers but doesn't store waste so if you've emptied your bowel you should be fine - but play it safe.
- Talk constantly. Communication is crucial, especially if it's your first time. Whoever is on the receiving end needs to constantly give feedback about how it's feeling.
The Nitty-Gritty Step-by-Step
(This is written from the penetrating partner's point of view.)
- Put on a condom and apply lube to both the penis or strap-on and your partner's anus.
- Press the tip of the penis/dildo against the opening of the anus.
- When they're ready, slide in slowly, holding your penis or dildo at the base.
- Penetrate a small amount at a time, stopping to let them get used to you before going further.
- It can feel more uncomfortable partially penetrated than fully, so it's worth both of you persisting if it feels a bit uncomfortable initially. But if it hurts or continues to feel uncomfortable, stop.
- Once you're fully penetrated (or as far as the recipient is happy with), again, stop to let them relax around you.
- Don't start with same hard and fast thrusting motion you normally use for intercourse.
- Instead move very gently and very slowly. Move in and out but in super slow motion and only withdraw an inch or so. Also try circling your hips while keeping your pelvis close.
- Increase the speed and length of your stroke according to what feels good their end.
- Hard, deep thrusting is fine if you're both up for it but only when they're absolutely certain.
Simple Starter Positions
Given that the opening to the vagina and anus aren't terribly far apart, most of your favourite intercourse positions can be adapted to suit anal intercourse or penetration. It's usually just a matter of positioning pillows, standing on tiptoes or leaning one way or another to expose the right part!
If the person about to be penetrated is decidedly nervous, it makes sense to put them completely in control. If this is your first time, this is why it's my pick of the positions.
The penetrator lies back on the bed, the receiver then lowers themselves onto the penis or strap on, totally in control of when, where and how it's done.
Another popular option is to get the recipient to face the opposite way and hang onto the penetrator's ankles. It feels primitive and takes direct aim at her front vaginal wall (home of the 'G-spot') or his prostate gland (home of his).
Taker-on-top also works sitting with the penetrator on a chair.
Rear-entry (in the true sense!)
The receiver kneels on the floor or bed on all fours, the penetrator kneels behind. Or get them to lean over the back of a sofa or appropriate-height piece of furniture. Alternatively, they can stand at the end of the bed and lean on their fingertips or forearms.
The standard person-with-penis-on-top can work if the recipient is flexible enough to bend their legs backwards until they're almost at their ears, lifting their bottom high enough for penetration.
Once in position, they can rest their ankles on the other person's shoulders.
Make it easier on both of you by getting the recipient to bend their knees and put their feet on the penetrator's chest, handily lifting their bottom, as you kneel in front of them.
If you want a really gentle, non-threatening first-time, try spooning. You both lie on your sides, facing the same way, with the penetrator behind. Penetration is shallow and deep thrusting is difficult making it perfect for beginners (but possibly frustrating for old hands!)
Part 4 of the Anal Sex Prep Guide, which troubleshoots any problems or issues you might have, comes out at the end of September. For more advice from the Anal Sex Prep Guide check out Part 1: Anatomy, Prep and Protection, or Part 2: Fingering and Rimming.