Clever ways to have more intense and multiple orgasms
Hands up who’d like more orgasms? How about more intense orgasms? Or more than one in a row? (After all, who stops at one biscuit? Or one chocolate? Or one glass of wine?)
Here are some clever but simple ideas to help you achieve all three.
I want orgasms that are...
If it's a quickie Use lots of lube and hold a vibrator against her clitoris as he penetrates from behind.
If you’d really rather be having sex with someone else Pretend that’s who you’re having sex with. Your partner can't read minds, remember? If you don’t tell them, how are they supposed to know? Quit the guilt trip - more than 80 percent of men and women admit to fantasising about someone else while with a (still much-loved) partner. Sex with others in your head is OK, it’s only not OK if it’s in your bed.
If you missed out on one during intercourse Masturbate afterwards while they watch. Take a really long time if they didn’t try hard enough to make you orgasm during it.
If you want to try something new but feel self-conscious Blindfold them - you’ll feel less inhibited if there’s no eye contact and be more inclined to let go and enjoy it. Plus they can’t see the bits where it all goes a bit wonky.
If you can’t quite get there Be super-alert for your personal orgasm triggers. The more your brain travels a certain path neurologically, the more effortless it becomes. The more signposts of impending orgasm your brain can recognise, the easier it will trigger the orgasmic response. Focus on what you naturally do on approach to orgasm then exaggerate it. If that doesn’t work, take the pressure completely off by giving up completely. Better luck next time.
If you’re doing it missionary style The traditional ‘jack hammer’ style of thrusting - a deep, repetitive in-and-out motion - is about as effective at getting her to orgasm as using a bread knife to shave your legs. Instead, try her grinding against his pelvis and move in circles, rather than up and down. The aim is to keep as much of the base of his penis as possible in contact with the whole of the vulva. Keep thrusting short and shallow rather than deep and fast.
If you're doing it standing up If you’re standing up having sex at least one of you felt a spontaneous, urgent need. This lends itself nicely to role-playing or talking dirty. If you just went along with it to be nice, be nice about indulging this as well.
If you’re doing it doggy-style She can lift her bottom high so he’s hitting the super-sensitive front vaginal wall, he reaches forward to play with her clitoris before he’s even fully penetrated, she reaches behind to play with his testicles.
If he’s on top Spread her vaginal lips once he’s inside and make sure they’re pressed against him to get maximum friction on the clitoris and the area surrounding the urethra. It’s also packed with nerve endings. Spark memories of the great oral you just had by licking and sucking each other’s tongues.
If she’s on top This is the most likely position to result in orgasms-for-two because she’s in control so can slow things down if he starts to lose it. If you’re trying to come together, he should be alert to a tightening of her vagina. When she’s around a level 8 on a 1-10 pleasure scale, the middle third of her vagina will often grip his penis tighter. The biological purpose is to make him orgasm so he’ll spill his seed but it’s OK to use for less worthy purposes, like an ‘OK, we’re about to lift off’ signal.
Don’t be drunk It relaxes inhibitions but numbs other parts.
Aim for sequential orgasms rather than simultaneous You’ll have stronger orgasms if you’re focused on your own pleasure rather than trying to work out where the hell your partner’s up to on the arousal scale. Coming together is awfully polite but the pay off can be fizzlers as well as failure.
Don’t get distracted Keep your eyes open and watch the action instead of losing yourself in ‘Wonder what Jenny/John really meant when they said that?’. Focus on what you’re feeling not what you’re thinking. Get your partner to stimulate two spots at once. He can insert a well-lubed thumb into her bottom while licking her. She can reciprocate when giving him oral. Choose a new, challenging position for intercourse to force you to concentrate and stay in the moment. Balance or die.
Pee first Nothing worse than having the whole ‘Is this an orgasm building or do I just want to wee?’ thing happening - especially if you’re trying G-spot stimulation.
Lower your expectations if you’re a man… This is the payoff for women. It’s hard for us to have an orgasm but once we do, it’s easier to have more. Men learn to have multiple orgasms by learning techniques. Women are just engineered for them.
Use different stimulation for each orgasm Alternate oral sex with intercourse with digital stimulation (that’s fingers rather than playing with your smart phone, but while we’re on the topic, a bit of porn playing in the background could be just what you need to add another orgasm to the list!).
Train yourself to expect more through masturbation Masturbate in your usual way until you’re almost, almost… then stop. Change to a new position, switch to a different technique (ditch the vibe and use fingers etc) then start again. Again get almost there then stop. Change position and technique again - and keep doing it till you’ve brought yourself to the brink at least five times. This not only stops your body from expecting exactly the same stimulation to orgasm, it trains it to expect that after one peak of sensation, another is coming.
Experiment with techniques Other ways to make it happen: Simmer by anticipating what’s in store, way before you touch them - be in the right head space to keep going - avoid small, sensitive areas immediately after the first orgasm. The nerve endings are too on edge so instead zoom in on larger hot spots like breasts, bottom cheeks, inner thighs, backs - kiss with tongues fighting like gladiators - rub your bodies together during intercourse and maintain full body contact - pump those pelvic floor muscles - add erotic edge by pulling her hair, or spanking his bottom.