Women: Make your orgasm last 179 times longer - Part 1
If you're the average woman enjoying a reasonably good sex life, a whole 45 seconds of your week is spent having an orgasm.
Yup. All that buzzing and stroking and grinding for a mere 15 seconds of ecstasy, three times over.
Now imagine an orgasm that lasts a full 30 minutes, with occasional, deep contractions occurring up to 24 hours afterwards.
This was the extraordinary promise of two American sexologists who pioneered and perfected what's called the Extended Sexual Orgasms (ESO) technique in the '80s.
Psychiatrist Alan Brauer and psychotherapist Donna Brauer claimed if you faithfully follow the four steps of their program, women are potentially capable of experiencing an orgasm of ever-increasing arousal lasting 30 minutes to an hour or more.
At the time - and not surprisingly - it stirred up a veritable sexual storm.
But just like the G-spot, when people couldn't figure the whole thing out with five minutes of fumbling, it quickly got chucked into the 'too hard' basket.
And just like the G-spot - or more accurately, the highly sensitive front vaginal wall - many sex therapists and sexually adventurous women reached into that bin, flattened out the screwed up instructions and gave the whole thing a second chance.
With a little streamlining and revamping, ESO is offering up spectacular results.
We're far more sexually savvy now than ever before. We understand more about our own bodies - the mechanics as well as the murkier emotional side.
There's one teensy catch: to experience ESO, you need a partner who's also motivated, sexually knowledgeable and capable of following explicit, sometimes complicated instructions.
Oh, and you need to allow about a month before the full benefit kicks in. But hey - isn't it worth a bit of exertion to enjoy l-o-n-g, luscious orgasms with little effort long-term?
My thoughts exactly.
I'm going to take you through the program over the next two blogs.
This is the solo part, to get you started.
The first three stages, you do solo. Your partner gets involved during stage four. If you're a tantric sex fan, you'll recognise similar techniques and principles here.
Stage One - Solo
Replace 'blocking' thoughts with positive thoughts.
Most of us, according to the Brauers, resist rather than welcome pleasure so you need to do some 'cognitive restructuring'. In simple terms, this means thinking 'This is fabulous, let's go with it' rather than 'Oh God, my grandmother would turn in her grave if she saw me now'.
Do serious kegel exercises.
I can hear you groan from here but think of kegels the same way you think about working out: sometimes it's a right pain in the ass at the time but fabulous when you're poured into that gorgeous slinky dress.
Kegels, for the initiated (and where have you been?) involve squeezing, holding, then releasing the same muscle you use to stop the flow of urine. Standard kegel sets involve clenching and releasing 25 to 30 times, three times a day.
To master ESO, you should do lots of slow clenches (squeeze and hold to a count of three), flutter clenches (squeezing and releasing as quickly as possible) and what the Brauers call 'push-outs'. To do these, bear down as if trying to go to the toilet, using your stomach, anal and kegel muscles simultaneously.
You need to do these exercises for two weeks, spending a good 15 minutes per day (spread it into 3 x 5 minutes).
Masturbate until you know your body responses accurately.
If you're already completely au fait with what strokes, speed, pressure and rhythm suits you, get a big gold star.
The rest of you - practise makes perfect.
Done it? You're now ready for Stage Two.
Check back next week for part 2!