The 5 mistakes even experienced lovers make when giving women oral sex
So you think you’re pretty good at giving oral sex?
Haven’t had any complaints but have had lots of women begging for more?
Most experienced lovers know the basics (make sure she’s wet, don’t be too rough). But don’t be too sure you’re at masterclass level until you check you’re not guilty of any of the following…
Are you guilty of…
Chopping and changing techniques
If you’re experienced, chances are you have more than one oral sex technique mastered.
This is a plus. What isn’t a plus is you trying them all out in the same session.
The clitoris likes regularity: the same technique done over and over again.
Constantly switching from one style to another every few seconds or minute doesn’t work for us.
By all means try out new techniques, just not all at once.
Not asking what she likes
Similar to above, this is something both men and women are guilty of.
If you’ve been given lots of compliments about your oral technique, you start thinking everyone you sleep with is going to love it.
Our genitals are as varied as our faces, so tweaks are necessary and inevitable.
Always ask if there’s anything she’d like done differently and don’t get all huffy if the answer is yes.
Rushing her to the finish line
Licking for a little while, then stopping to pop your head up and ask ‘Are you close yet?’ will do nothing but make the whole thing last a whole lot longer.
You don’t need to ask: our body language will tell you exactly what’s going on.
If we start to tense up, pull you closer, grind against you or go really still (we’re all individual so only time will teach you her personal triggers), it probably means we’re about to orgasm.
Stop to ask us and it’s almost guaranteed we won’t.
Stop and start stimulation is as frustrating as hell.
Keep going until we tell you to stop.
Telling her how your ex came much faster than she did
Women lie - a lot - about sex to men.
Being natural people pleasers, we lie about how long it takes us to orgasm and whether we orgasm at all.
The reason we lie is that men seem so surprised at how long our sexual systems take to get up and running.
A part of us thinks, ‘Wow! Maybe it’s just me? Maybe my bits aren’t working right?’.
Another reason we lie is because the woman who’s been there before us has.
If your lover looks up exasperated and confused and says they’ve never known a woman to take so long to climax, it’s very likely the next time you’ll speed it up a bit (and fake it).
Why did their ex say this? Because the one before did.
It’s a vicious circle that only women can break.
So let’s all stop lying so we don’t have to fake orgasms anymore! Deal?
The average woman takes around 10 to 20 minutes to bring to orgasm through oral sex - and I’m timing this from the first contact of tongue to clitoris to the last lap.
If she’s super turned on, it will be less but this is the timescale you’re dealing with.
So deal with it.
Always doing the same position
The traditional position of you lying in between her legs works fine but there are other more effective positions.
Lots of women love being licked while they’re standing and you’re kneeling (it feeds into our power fantasies and also means we can control the pressure and rhythm by holding your head).
Being licked from behind is also great plus it reaches and stimulates all the right parts.
Sitting on your face (to put it bluntly) is hugely erotic and also affords lots of control.
One of the sexiest positions, though, is if you kneel in front of us, lift our legs and put them on your shoulders then lift us up so our bottom is off the bed (and shoulders are still on the bed).
It feels fantastic and we can see everything that’s going on.