Just as men's testicles go AWOL close to orgasm (the testes need to be retracted for him to orgasm), the clitoris often hides under its hood when you're nearing orgasm.
Given it's a slippery little bugger at the best of times and that most men are literally in the dark when performing oral sex, this can cause more anxiety than an empty beer fridge on the night of the World Cup final.
If this happens to you, don't panic - and don't go looking for it either! Just keep stimulating the general area in which the clitoris was last seen or gently massage her tummy, pressing your palm downwards towards the vagina, to make it 'pop' back out again.
And remember, it's absolutely imperative that once she starts to orgasm, you don't stop stimulating her or change what you're doing.
Her orgasm is roughly three times longer than yours and it's common for men to think it's all over when, in fact, it's only just begun.
The idea behind the all-day sex-play plan isn't designed to get you both sacked or to turn you into slightly deranged sex addicts people cross the street to avoid.
It's actually to get you out of the habit of thinking of sex and foreplay as something you do when together, at home, in bed, at 10.24pm on a Friday night. (Sadly, the average time most couples have sex).
If you both get into the habit of focusing on sex at any time of the day, not just while you're together, you'll find your libidos soaring!
7am: Dress to impress: Nonchalantly pulling on a super-sexy bra and knickers, stockings and suspenders under unassuming office clothes keeps both of you focused on sex throughout the entire work day.
8am: Write an erotic note describing how hot your last great sex session was. Slip it inside their wallet so they get a nice surprise when they're buying lunch.
Q: I've been with my boyfriend six years. He works away but we see each other at weekends. For the past six months, he's been masturbating in bed, beside me, while I sleep.
He wakes me up when he does it, then stops but starts again when he thinks I've gone back to sleep. He's now started doing it while I'm awake and watching TV in bed! He tries to hide it but I know what he's doing!
I feel hurt because it makes me feel like he would rather do that than have sex with me. I'm not the most confident person in bed but I want to make him aware I know what he does. What is the best way to do it?
A: You haven't said, but I'm guessing you aren't having sex regularly together and it's being used more as a substitute than an 'extra'. Is there a reason why he'd prefer masturbating semi-secretly to having sex with a real person beside him?
Q: I have never had an orgasm. I've had a few partners over the years, but none of them ever really cared about making me feel good. My current partner of one year does and we've tried lots of toys, orgasm gels, balms, creams, different condoms, positions, roleplay – all sorts of things. But still nothing.
Am I missing something? Is there some magical solution to help me let go and finally reach climax? I feel like I'm broken or as if there's something wrong with me.
A: You need to go back to basics and go solo. The thing about female orgasm is that, because it's complicated and not automatic, most women discover how to do it by themselves.
The first orgasm for most women is usually had by experimenting with a good quality vibrator such as the Tracey Cox Supersex Pleasure Wand Vibrator (or one that has both slow and gentle/fast and firm settings) in the privacy of their bedroom.
Let's start by making something very clear: the guy you're sleeping with actually isn't a machine. This means he won't always get an erection when he wants to.
It doesn't mean, contrary to what you might believe, that he: a) doesn't fancy you b) fancies someone else c) thinks you have a big arse or d) has gone off you.
If he's under 40:
Not getting hard nearly always means he's drunk too much, he's stressed about work, his erection was wobbly last time you had sex and it's freaked him out, or this is the first time he's had sex with you and he's petrified he won't be any good and he'll embarrass himself. See, not a mention of cellulite anywhere to be seen!
If he's over 40:
It simply means his penis is ageing, along with the rest of him, and he requires more intense stimulation to get an erection or perhaps an assessment to see if he could benefit from Viagra or another Sildenafil.
Sex all a bit of yawn, but honestly can't be bothered to do anything about it? Try these three lazy ways to get the spark back.
The quickest, most effective way to make it feel like you're sleeping with someone new, is to do it... in your imagination while you're having sex with your much-loved, but not new, partner.
Run through a tape in your head of what might happen (and don't feel guilty - 85% of people in long-term relationships do it!). If you're looking for inspiration, try reading a good erotic book.
Add a new element
At the start, couples try new things all the time but sex quickly moves from 'innovative' to 'maintenance' sex once you're two years in.
Not to sound like we don't like doing it (loads of women love the heady power of giving a hell of a hand job) BUT having to do it for what seems like hours on end isn't so much fun.
Hand cramps and boredom fuel frustration and resentment rather than lust and passion - which is why it's good to know how to speed things up if things are heading in that direction. Here are my top tips:
Don't do it when he's drunk
Alcohol desensitizes all the nerve endings. (The reason why you wake up after a big night to find your vibrator on the maximum setting and television ear-blastingly loud).
A morning hand job (assuming he didn't have a big one the night before) is almost guaranteed to take half as long as one delivered at 2am after a night out with the lads.
Over the years, we've pretty much run through the alphabet with discoveries of sexual hot spots. The trouble is, those complicated-sounding A-spots (anterior fornix erogenous) and P-spots (periurethral glands) turned out to be... Well, a bit of a fuss about nothing, or so hard to find that most of us gave up.
But there are 3, easy-to-locate erogenous zones on women that consistently result in regular orgasm - and it's worth exploring all 3, since they each produce different sensations.
'U' refers to the urethra, the tube that carries urine. The tiny hole is the entrance and it's usually midway between the vaginal opening and clitoris. Look for a small patch of sensitive erectile tissue just above and on either side of it.
Been to the gym? Squeezed yourself into your skinny jeans, hair done, makeup fabulous, teeth white and looking edible? Make sure the rest of you also makes the grade.
Follow my top tips to make sure your vagina stays in tip-top shape!
- Change tampons frequently.
- To always smell sweet, avoid garlic, tight clothing, synthetic knickers and wearing tights too frequently.
- Wipe front to back after you've been to the loo.
- Rinse thoroughly after washing.
- Ideally, wash with a soap-free liquid (available in most chemists).
- Pee before and after sex to flush out bacteria.
- Don't even think about using vaginal deodorant.
The strength, firmness and frequency of your erections tend to mirror the rest of your life. They are a reflection of your health, lifestyle, emotions and relationship. The better all that is, the better your erections will be.
Make sure your penis is performing at its best by following my top tips:
- Be realistic. Age affects erections. You're not going to be as hard or have as many erections at 40 as you will at 18. Don't stress about it.
- Lead a healthy lifestyle and exercise. The better your general health, the less likely you are to need medication - a common cause of erection problems.
- Avoid stress - a calm penis is a happy one. Overworked, over-exhausted penises (not surprisingly) have trouble rising to the occasion.
- Use lube during marathon intercourse sessions to avoid irritating the skin.