• Sextasy by Tracey Cox

    Have you got a question about sex, love or relationships? Chances are that sexpert Tracey has the answer. We've picked out her top 5 most read Q&As to solve your bedroom dilemmas...

    Simply click on each summary to read the full post!

    1. How much is too much anal sex?

    "Is it dangerous to have regular anal sex? I'm with the same partner so I'm not concerned about STDs, just physical damage."

    2. When we do girl-on-top, I get self-conscious. How can I get over it?

    "I'm seeing someone that I'm really attracted to, the sex is really great (best I have had) but there's something holding me back. I'm not a very sexually confident person.

    "But when I get on top, I get all self-conscious. How can I become better at all this and really make him think that this is the best sex he's ever had?"

    Hot Sex

    From cock rings to G-spot confusion (where actually is it?), Tracey Cox has amassed a wealth of knowledge on sex and relationships, which she's shared with you to help you solve bedroom dilemmas in this sex advice column.

    We've picked out her 5 most popular posts, for a go-to list of everything you need to know to enjoy a fantastically satisfying sex life.

    Simply click on each summary to read the full posts!

    1. Anal Sex: Anal Play For Beginners:

    What's the body part with the highest concentration of nerve endings besides the genitals? Your bottom! Anal sex used to be taboo but now lots of sexually adventurous couples are discovering its erotic potential.

    This guide offers information specifically for couples attempting anal intercourse or stimulation for the first time.

    Sextasy by Tracey Cox

    Straight women can use strap-ons to anally penetrate their boyfriends, while some lesbians use them to penetrate each other.

    If you've never used a strap-on dildo, you probably think they look scary or even faintly ridiculous (OK, seriously ridiculous). But regular users swear they're the best invention for penetrative sex since God invented the penis. So, think you'd like to try using one but aren't sure how? Everything you need to know is right here!

    For her to use on her:

    Not all lesbians like it, but the experience of penetrating someone is incredibly erotic - it's a power rush and you feel naughty and edgy doing it. Best of all, with a strap-on dildo you get to pick exactly what length and thickness suits you! Dildos are the world's oldest sex toys, so not surprisingly there are loads to choose from.

    Supersex Supertight Stroker by Tracey Cox

    Masturbating quickly as a teenager: False. Though it can make things worse. Having a quick orgasm is a plus as a teen. The faster you do it, the less likely you are to be disturbed by your nosy sister banging on the bathroom door. It made sense for researchers into PE to assume that 'training' your penis to ejaculate quickly as a teenager sets you up for a lifetime of bad habits. But it seems while this certainly doesn't help, it doesn't appear to be a cause. Most teens follow the same pattern with masturbation but not all end up with PE (premature ejaculation).

    Watching porn makes it worse: True. But again, it's not watching porn that causes PE, it just doesn't help the situation. Once you add porn into a solo sex session, you up your chances of ejaculating quickly - which is sort of the point for lots of men who use these sessions as a release, rather than a turn on. Trouble is, that ten second long session with your laptop isn't exactly going to boost your confidence.

    The Sex Doctor

    While most of us shudder at the thought of being addicted to something like heroin, the thought of being addicted to sex is downright appealing.

    If the government supplies methadone to help heroin addicts kick the habit, surely it would be helpful for them to throw some shiny new sex toys our way, or at least grant 'sex days' instead of 'sick days'? Sigh.

    But how much is too much and who would qualify? I counselled a couple on a programme I did (Hotter Sex) who claimed they had intercourse around seven times a day, every day.

    He was home on disability leave (a back problem which, strangely, prevented him from working in an office but didn't seem to bother him while performing position No 358 from the Kama Sutra). She was a stay-at-home mum, who quickly assured me all the activity happened while the kids were at school.

    Hot Sex by Tracey Cox

    Just as men's testicles go AWOL close to orgasm (the testes need to be retracted for him to orgasm), the clitoris often hides under its hood when you're nearing orgasm.

    Given it's a slippery little bugger at the best of times and that most men are literally in the dark when performing oral sex, this can cause more anxiety than an empty beer fridge on the night of the World Cup final.

    If this happens to you, don't panic - and don't go looking for it either! Just keep stimulating the general area in which the clitoris was last seen or gently massage her tummy, pressing your palm downwards towards the vagina, to make it 'pop' back out again.

    And remember, it's absolutely imperative that once she starts to orgasm, you don't stop stimulating her or change what you're doing.

    Her orgasm is roughly three times longer than yours and it's common for men to think it's all over when, in fact, it's only just begun.

    Supersex G-spot Vibrator by Tracey Cox

    The idea behind the all-day sex-play plan isn't designed to get you both sacked or to turn you into slightly deranged sex addicts people cross the street to avoid.

    It's actually to get you out of the habit of thinking of sex and foreplay as something you do when together, at home, in bed, at 10.24pm on a Friday night. (Sadly, the average time most couples have sex).

    If you both get into the habit of focusing on sex at any time of the day, not just while you're together, you'll find your libidos soaring!

    7am: Dress to impress: Nonchalantly pulling on a super-sexy bra and knickers, stockings and suspenders under unassuming office clothes keeps both of you focused on sex throughout the entire work day.

    8am: Write an erotic note describing how hot your last great sex session was. Slip it inside their wallet so they get a nice surprise when they're buying lunch.

    The Sex Doctor

    Q: I've been with my boyfriend six years. He works away but we see each other at weekends. For the past six months, he's been masturbating in bed, beside me, while I sleep.

    He wakes me up when he does it, then stops but starts again when he thinks I've gone back to sleep. He's now started doing it while I'm awake and watching TV in bed! He tries to hide it but I know what he's doing!

    I feel hurt because it makes me feel like he would rather do that than have sex with me. I'm not the most confident person in bed but I want to make him aware I know what he does. What is the best way to do it?

    A: You haven't said, but I'm guessing you aren't having sex regularly together and it's being used more as a substitute than an 'extra'. Is there a reason why he'd prefer masturbating semi-secretly to having sex with a real person beside him?

    Tracey Cox Supersex Pleasure Wand Vibrator

    Q: I have never had an orgasm. I've had a few partners over the years, but none of them ever really cared about making me feel good. My current partner of one year does and we've tried lots of toys, orgasm gels, balms, creams, different condoms, positions, roleplay – all sorts of things. But still nothing.

    Am I missing something? Is there some magical solution to help me let go and finally reach climax? I feel like I'm broken or as if there's something wrong with me.

    A: You need to go back to basics and go solo. The thing about female orgasm is that, because it's complicated and not automatic, most women discover how to do it by themselves.

    The first orgasm for most women is usually had by experimenting with a good quality vibrator such as the Tracey Cox Supersex Pleasure Wand Vibrator (or one that has both slow and gentle/fast and firm settings) in the privacy of their bedroom.

    Hot Sex

    Let's start by making something very clear: the guy you're sleeping with actually isn't a machine. This means he won't always get an erection when he wants to.

    It doesn't mean, contrary to what you might believe, that he: a) doesn't fancy you b) fancies someone else c) thinks you have a big arse or d) has gone off you.

    If he's under 40:

    Not getting hard nearly always means he's drunk too much, he's stressed about work, his erection was wobbly last time you had sex and it's freaked him out, or this is the first time he's had sex with you and he's petrified he won't be any good and he'll embarrass himself. See, not a mention of cellulite anywhere to be seen!

    If he's over 40:

    It simply means his penis is ageing, along with the rest of him, and he requires more intense stimulation to get an erection or perhaps an assessment to see if he could benefit from Viagra or another Sildenafil.

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