• Question:

    How hard is a penis supposed to get? My erection is never rock hard though I have normal orgasms.

    How to find love after heartbreak

    Clear the slate. Make sure you understand why your last break-up happened and have closure. Do you have any bad love habits or patterns you need to break? Break-ups are nearly always 50/50. Work out your part in it before going out there and making the same mistakes all over again.

    Take it slowly. It’s hard to regain trust after your heart has been broken. Take it slowly and explain to new partners that you’re raw and vulnerable and will need lots of reassurance and time before you’re ready to commit. If they’re not prepared to be patient, move on. Genuine people will understand.


    I’ve always had a higher sex drive than my husband and am usually the one who instigates sex. So you can imagine how put out I was when I overheard him boasting to his mates about how he’d gone to a strip club and was ‘crawling the walls’ for sex afterward. I knew about the strip club and it didn’t worry me but he made it sound like he was the one wanting sex and I was the one rejecting him. Why would he lie and how come he fancied those women but not me?

    How to get his mojo back

    Approach it as a couple problem that’s no-one’s fault: the person who wants sex more isn’t ‘sexier’ or ‘better’. Don't place blame, and instead work together as a team.

    Confront the problem

    Talk about what’s going on. You can’t shut people up talking about sex at the sexy start of a relationship, but just when you really need to talk - when things aren’t going great - you’re both quieter than a boyfriend fresh from a stag weekend. Ignoring it and not having sex becomes the elephant in the room.

    How to make condoms feel better

    Size is everything. If he loses his erection when he pulls on the condom, it could be because it’s too tight or too big.

    If the condom is too tight, it will deaden sensation (try a large condom).

    If it’s too big, it slides around meaning no friction for him and no real protection (try a smaller condom).

    Worried your penis is too small for her?

    Who cares? (She probably doesn’t!) Five reasons why big isn’t best.

    • Most nerve endings are in the first inch or so of the vagina and it balloons on arousal, so width counts more than length.
    • Most women have their orgasms via your fingers or tongue, rather than through penetration.
    • Your penis is attached to a man and if we love the man, the size of your penis tends to be irrelevant.
    • It’s men who perpetrate the ‘women love big willys' myth. In reality, few women want a man with a huge penis. It's uncomfortable in many positions.
    • Men with small penises tend to be better at other things - like oral sex or manual masturbation - because they tend not to fall into the 'the penis is everything' trap as easily.

    Sex Advice: Are You Feeling Threatened By The 'Mummy Porn' Fifty Shades Effect?

    Millions of women are tearing through the Fifty Shades triology, a series of books that has a handsome, well-hung and (of course) stupendously brilliant-in-bed billionaire Christian Grey as its hero. But how do men feel about it?

    The Times ran a fabulous article recently about men’s reactions (“Twice in Half an Hour? My worst fears are on these pages”) but panic not! Here are some tips on how to make all the hype (and horniness) work for you.


    My partner is not very well endowed, and sometimes I wish I could feel him more during sex. Do you have any tips on how to improve the way things feel?


    This is really embarrassing but here goes. If I have sexual intercourse after I have had an orgasm I experience wind but it comes from the front and I am mortified by it, it is preventing me wanting to orgasm and means I'm not relaxing and enjoying sex as much as I should. Is there a reason this is happening and can I stop it?

    What to do if he loses his erection

    It's quite common for a man to lose his erection, but what can you do to help? And what should you avoid doing to make it worse? These are my best tips for reawakening his desire...

    • Get a grip! Women are timid around penises that aren’t very hard. We’ll grab onto it greedily when he’s stiff but switch to a nervous, tentative touch the second there’s any sign of softness. Do the opposite. If he’s only semi-erect, a firm grip and firm massaging will get him hard again.
    • Have your head in the right place! Losing an erection happens! It’s life, so isn’t a big deal. The better your attitude, the better his will be.

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