• Question:

    My boyfriend and I have a great sex life, but recently I've found myself getting a little curious about introducing a vibrator into the mix. At first he was extremely doubtful about this and not too keen to tell the truth, but as we began to talk it through more he has become a bit more accepting.

    However, he mentioned a concern about using a vibrator during sex with me (I suggested a clitoral vibrator rather than anything too threatening). He says he's heard that using a vibrator close to the penis can cause blood vessels to burst and so we "couldn't use it like that anyway". Is this true?


    Do aphrodisiac pills work to increase libido or do they work as a placebo?


    When I first started playing with vibrators about seven years ago, I started having my first orgasms, and they were phenomenal.  I thought I had found the solutions to the world's problems.  Now, they seem routine, almost boring.

    I rarely have those full body mind blowing orgasms I used to frequently have. It's becoming frustrating, and I'm not sure what the cause is.  Do I need a new toy?  Are there exercises you’d recommend to get those old feelings back?


    My partner and I have been together for six months and I’m worried we are completely mismatched in bed, although we get on really well out of it. I’m up for anything and she’s not.

    Her parents are very conservative and it seems to have rubbed off on her. I know this ‘vanilla’ sex won’t be enough to keep me interested in the long term. I’ve tried suggesting we do new things but she’s really not interested and I see little hope for change. Should I move on?


    I’ve just tested positive for herpes - oral herpes but on my genitals. My boyfriend is accusing me of cheating but I haven’t slept with anyone but him for years and he frequently gets cold sores on his mouth. Could he have given it to me?


    I’m a pretty ordinary looking bloke - I’m not handsome but I'm not ugly either - but I find it hard to attract women. My mates all seem to pull easily and I don’t think they are any better than me. But I never do and I’m really tired of always having to DIY at the end of a night out. I want the sex they are getting but have no idea what I’m doing wrong. How can I get a girl to sleep with me?


    If you buy something sexy, you should always combine it with a ‘love gift’. Here are some of my top romantic suggestions.


    I love my girlfriend but I’m worried she’s way more into me than I am her. I like her but don’t feel excited about the relationship, like I did with my ex (who dumped me!). We get on okay but it feels like chemistry is missing. I’m not sure whether to continue seeing her in the hope that maybe it develops?

    Choose a ‘fun’ present, rather than a hint your sex life isn’t all it should be.

    Men are much less sensitive about sex toys than women are but you want to spice things up, not give the poor guy performance anxiety! (And on that note, if he buys you something risqué, it doesn’t mean he’s unhappy with your sex life or you, simply trying to add sparkle.) If he’s even remotely sensitive about his penis size, avoid buying any products which claim to make him ‘bigger or harder'. Desensitising creams, designed to make him last longer during intercourse, are a perfect present for that swine of an ex who cheated constantly but best avoided for any guy you’d like to see the New Year in with.


    Get her the perfect gift by remembering to pitch the present to her personality.

    So she’s a shy, retiring type who’s only just allowed sex with the lights on? Rolling up with a gigantic rabbit vibrator, crotchless red underwear and a gimp suit isn’t going to score you brownie points. Neither is watching her unwrap it all in front of her mother - remember to give any sexy present privately and separately.

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