‘Sexting’ - sending a lover or potential lover a titillating text - is a brilliant way to keep sex fresh and electrifying. Which is why nearly half of all Brits send sex texts to their partners - and one in nine does so daily, according to one study.
Spontaneity disappears over time in most long-term relationships and anticipation is an excellent replacement.
Sexting about past encounters or texting what you intend to do to your partner when you get home encourages what therapists call ‘simmering’.
Simmering means arousing your partner in situations where sex is impossible. It sets off an erotic connection that keeps you both ‘on the boil’ sexually, making for hotter, more erotic encounters when you finally get to see each other.
Would you like to try it but are not sure what to say? Here’s some helpful ‘how-tos' - and some rules to prevent your sexts from backfiring horribly.
If it’s a casual hook up, then who really cares - but what about when you’re just about to have sex with someone special, that you hope is going to be around for a while… maybe even forever?
Even if you’re in triple-figure territory with the number of people you’ve slept with, sex with someone you like and want to build a relationship with is a big deal.
Contrary to popular opinion, lots of couples who see a future do wait a little while before having full, penetrative sex. We aren’t all diving into bed within the first five minutes.
(Safe) sex with a stranger is far less daunting in many ways.
Allowing someone you really like to see you nude - to feel, smell and taste your body and its fluids - does make you vulnerable. And we’re not even talking about the emotional complications and dangers intimacy implies - this is just the physical bit. The part when a million weird and worrisome thoughts spill into your brain faster than the champagne you’re gulping in a vain attempt to stop them.
Sex is usually driven by things like lust, satisfaction and love - but sometimes it’s simply undertaken in the spirit of adventure, the desire to explore novel new ways to share one another’s bodies. These show-off sex positions appeal to the latter category, and what they might lack in longevity they more than make up for in entertainment.
Whether you’re looking for a great giggle, fresh new sensations or locker room fodder to brag about with your pals (with permission), these ambitious arrangements are well worth a shot. Choose the position that's closest to an old favourite and shift into that when the going gets a little too tough!
Having her strip for him is one of the most popular male sexual fantasies - but lots of women baulk at fulfilling it.
Why? They’re worried they’re going to look like an idiot.
Fear not! This simple, step-by-step guide will have you looking like a pro (in all the right senses!)
10 Golden Rules
Absolutely Totally Cannot Be Broken Rule No 1: You’re allowed to touch him but he’s not allowed to touch you. Not with his hands, mouth, tongue or penis. Only his eyes and imagination are allowed to roam.
Absolutely Totally Cannot Be Broken Rule No 2: You must maintain eye contact with him throughout the performance.
Penis rings are a popular boy toy for good reason: they make the penis look bigger, keep erections harder and make him last longer. If you choose one with a vibrator attached, they also up her chances or climaxing during intercourse. What’s not to love?
The rings are worn at the base of the penis, often with a second ring behind the scrotum, and usually put on when your penis is semi rather than fully erect.
If you’re particularly hairy, you might want to have a bit of a trim to avoid hairs getting caught, but otherwise a bit of lube is all you need to try one.
Here’s how to pick the perfect penis ring for you.
I want to last longer during intercourse or stay hard for longer
Use a stretchy silicone ring such as one from the EDGE Supreme Endurance Set. Compared to other rings, these stretch the most and constrict blood flow most effectively.
Couples with the healthiest sex lives have all kinds of different sex: lusty sex, playful sex, make-up sex and loving sex.
These five sex positions work well when you're feeling particularly loved- up - but also like a leg-over.
Love and lust, romance and raunch: the perfect mix for great sex!
My final blog in the anal sex series talks specifically about any problems or issues you might have with anal play. I’d strongly suggest you also re-read the other three blogs (Part 1: Anatomy, Prep and Protection, Part 2: Fingering and Rimming or Anal Sex Prep Guide: Part 3: Positions and Techniques) for further clues as to what else might be causing problems.
My partner won’t even consider anal play because they think it’s kinky!
It’s not got the best reputation, anal play or anal sex. Guys think it means they’re gay if they enjoy it, plenty of people think it’s unhygienic and very few admit to liking it, even after a few down the pub.
But a little anal play has transformed many a stale sex life simply because it feels entirely different to anything else you’ve experienced sexually. For that reason alone - the intense novelty of it - it’s well worth exploring in some form.
Giving great oral is part attitude, part technique and a whole lot about enthusiasm. These are my top 10 tips for a magical combination of all three.
1. It's a treat not a chore. Act like giving him a BJ is a huge favour and something you're dreading doing, and no matter how skilful your tongue techniques, it's not going to work.
2. It's what you do before the BJ that counts. The more foreplay and teasing he's had, the more sensitive he'll be. Just as you hate him diving straight for the clitoris, he hates you pouncing immediately on his penis. Kiss and stroke everywhere, glide up the inside of his thighs, pay attention to the area of his tummy his erect penis sits on, and bite his neck and his lips.
3. Pick your position. Being able to watch is all part of the male fixation on fellatio: men are erotic visualists. Kneel in front of him and hold eye contact during oral. The worst position of all is the one most women go for: lying beside him on the bed. He can't see anything, it's awkward and you can't use both hands.
This is the third in my anal sex series, so if you haven’t read the previous two blogs, I’d strongly recommend reading both Part 1: Anatomy, Prep and Protection, and Part 2: Fingering and Rimming beforehand to make sure you’re fully prepared.
Anal penetration isn’t one of those ‘I know, let’s try this today!’ type of sex acts! It’s something you need to have really thought about and ‘trained’ for. So don’t attempt this until you’ve done your homework.
This guide can be used to penetrate with both a real penis or the strap-on variety.
The 6 Secrets to Successful Anal Intercourse
- Be safe. Use lots of good-quality anal lube, use good-quality condoms or both get tested for STIs.
- Don't double dip. Never go straight from anal intercourse to vaginal intercourse without washing thoroughly first. It transfers all sorts of things into the wrong places.
It sticks to itself, won’t rip off hair or skin, is simple to use, comfy to wear and a hell of a lot less intimidating than metal handcuffs or rope. Best of all - it’s not only cheap, you can re-use it!
That's why we love bondage tape - for its brilliant versatility!
Try a Tie-up and Tease Game
You don’t need any knot-tying skills to use bondage tape so you can tie your partner up quickly and easily - just make sure you don’t wrap it too tightly. The aim is to tie them up comfortably, not cut off their circulation.
To tie wrists together:
- Decide if you want their hands tied in front of them, behind their back or held high above their head.
- Wrap the tape around one wrist first, going completely around it, then wrap both wrists together. The insides of the wrists should face each other.