Q I’ve always wanted to have anal sex but my wife is too nervous to try it. How can I convince her to at least give it a try? Do most women like it once they’ve tried it?
Plenty of women enjoy anal sex – and it’s a big if – it’s done properly. What puts most of us off is having had the old ‘Ooops, I got the wrong hole’ trick pulled on us. You ‘accidentally’ and eagerly thrusting into an unlubricated, unprepared anus hurts. And it’s put plenty women off for life. The second most likely thing to put us off is you asking for it, over and over and over again which (like the threesome request) only makes us more determined not to do it.
A playful suggestion that you’d like to try it – along with a ‘you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’d at least like to try stimulating you with my fingers’, will get you much further. I’d also suggest backing up your suggestion with some good articles on the topic (see below), to allay any fears she has.
Approached properly, anal sex can be intensely pleasurable for her. The rectum shares a wall with the vagina and penetrating it gives a feeling of fullness in the rectum. It’s also seen as taboo (always a turn on). The naughtiness of a well-lubricated finger, butt plug or anal beads inside her anus, another inside the vagina and an expert tongue rates up there as one of life’s greatest pleasures.
The more she enjoys anal play, the more likely she is to say yes to anal sex. Can women orgasm purely through anal sex? Most sex experts say no. Anal sex could, however, tip her over into orgasm if she’s hovering on the brink (even better, if you’re stimulating her clitoris while inside her). For a practical, step-by-step guide to having safe anal sex, check out this guide on Anal sex & anal play for beginners