Love 69ers but find them a bit of a (literal) pain in the neck? Here’s how to turn them into your new go-to oral sex position.

In theory, 69ers are great.

The idea of both you simultaneously licking each other’s bits sounds like the best idea anyone’s ever thought of!

After all, who doesn’t like receiving oral sex? (Well, I know some of you don’t but it’s up there on the Things I Couldn’t Live Without list for most of us!)

Having sex by attaching both of your mouths to each other’s genitals sounds decadently wicked as well: you’re about as up close and personal as you possibly can be, which adds to the turn on.

In reality though, 69ers tend NOT to be the go-to oral sex position for most couples for two very good reasons.

They’re awkward – and it’s way too easy to get lazy on your end!

The better your partner’s technique, the more likely it is you stop paying attention to what you’re doing to them and lose yourself in what’s being done to you.

You then try to get away with a few half-hearted licks that makes them feel frustrated, so they stop focusing on you – and neither of you end up happy.

On the upside, 69ers are great for variety and work well when you’re so turned on, just about anything will feel good.

So here’s a few key technique tips to help you get the most out of them. This advice is aimed at heterosexual couples but could be easily adapted for gay and lesbian couples.

• Take turns If you like the position but have trouble keeping your mind on the job, take turns. He can give her oral while she uses her hand to stimulate him. She can then fellate him while he uses his fingers on her.
• Have a small vibe handy This is to take over while you relax and enjoy what’s being done to you. This obviously works best for her – vibrators work fabulously well to stimulate her clitoris – but they can also feel pretty damn nice on him if you hold it firmly against the perineum (the smooth, hairless bit between his legs) or under the testicles.
• Turn it on its side Make a 69er a whole lot less awkward by turning it on its side. You both lie on your sides, head to toe, facing each other. Then each of you draws your inner thigh up so it can be used as a cushion for your partner’s head. It’s a simple variation on the norm but a lot more comfortable for both of you.
• Use a pillow It sounds obvious but a well-placed pillow under the head of the person lying will stop any straining of the neck – and guarantee a longer, more satisfying session for the recipient because it’s one hell of a lot more comfortable.
• Use your hands Not just to keep the stimulation going when you’re mouth/tongue are tired and you need a little break but also to keep things from flopping about and to ensure you’re hitting the right spots.
• Let her go on top This is especially good advice if you can’t stop yourself from thrusting your hips and pushing yourself too deep or too forcefully into her mouth.
• Don’t get too hung up on coming together Granted you’ve got more chance of this happening than you have with intercourse but considering his orgasm lasts a mere 10 or so seconds and hers between 20 and 30 seconds, it’s still not easy coordinating them to happen at exactly the same time.
• Try rimming A 69 is the perfect position to try rimming: stimulating the anus with your tongue. If you do intend to try rimming though, make sure you follow the most important 69er tip of all…
• Shower first It should go without saying that hygiene is super-important at all times for oral sex but never more so than when someone’s bits are (quite literally) all over your face!

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