1. Rushing into it.
A few pathetic fumbles to check if she’s wet does not make her ready for you to plunge on in.
Unless you’re both fired up for a quickie, keep that penis away until you’ve paid some lip service and at least inserted some fingers to check she’s lubricated and ready for you…
2. Doing it drunk.
If you can actually manage an erection, it’s soft like a pillow rather than hard like a rock and you’re so desensitised, it takes you six years to orgasm. If we’re drunk too, go for it. If you’ve been out with the boys and we’re already tucked up in bed, do both of us a favour and snore in the spare room.
3. Taking forever.
Yes there are exceptions and times when you both want it to last six weeks but, as a rule, intercourse that lasts longer than 20 minutes has most women yawning rather than groaning.
4. Wanting us to come the same time you do.
Where have you been the last ten years? First up, only 20% of women actually orgasm during penetration (unless you add some extras like clitoral stimulation). Secondly, the chances of it coinciding with yours are low, not the norm. Don’t make her fake it like all your previous partners, instead give her an orgasm first, then enjoy yours guilt-free.
5. Thrusting like a jackhammer.
It’s still up there on the female ‘Pet Male Hates’ list.
6. Constantly changing positions.
A favourite of men who fancy themselves as ‘studs’ in the bedroom. You think it’s impressive chucking her this way and that, she just thinks, ‘Try-hard’. If you want to change position, move seamlessly into a similar pose e.g. side-by-side to rear-entry.