Use ‘touch and tease’ for a series of calculated seduction ploys designed to knock a potential target to their knees in a heartbeat…

US sexpert Barbara Keesling coined the phrase ‘touch and tease’. I’ve taken Barbara’s idea, given it a twist, thrown in lots of autoerotic touching (touching yourself where others would love to) and come up with some X-rated versions of the original.

Some ‘touch and (now) torment’s’ work better on men, others on women. I’ve divided them accordingly but feel free to pick’n’mix if you’re gay or lesbian or think your target’s an exception! (I’ve used standard his/her language for simplicity.)

THE WARM UP (you’ve just met)

This works whether you’re sexily squashed on a sofa or standing in a bar in the middle of a crowd. It also works no matter what stage your relationship is at. The only proviso is you need breasts!

While he’s talking, cross one arm loosely across your waist and support the elbow of the other arm by cupping it in your hand. Now lift the supported arm until your fingers touch your chest. Splay your fingers and lift your hand so just the tips of your fingers touch and simply stroke your collarbone, back and forth, lightly with your fingertips for a minute or so. Maintain eye contact the entire time and let your hand rest there when you’re finished.
Cheat’s version: Instead of stroking, simply hold your hand there.

The next time you laugh, throw your head back to expose your neck and move your hand to the hollow of your throat. Really, really, really slowly, let your fingers slide down your throat toward your breasts. Stop just where your cleavage starts (or should, depending on how well endowed you are!) and let your fingers rest there, dangerously close. Keep them there as long as he talks but when you talk, remove your hand (it makes it seem less contrived and attention-seeking). He’s fascinated because your hand is where his wants to be and he’s got extra incentive to keep on chatting you up.
Cheat’s version: Rest your fingers at the hollow of your throat instead of your cleavage.

Imagine what it would be like to kiss this guy. Make a little movie in your head, then drop your head but lift your eyes to look at him. Now slowly stroke your bottom lip with your index finger. Thoughts of kissing them puts a wicked glint in your eye, distractedly touching your mouth hints you are indeed thinking about something naughty, the lowered head adds little-girl-lost vulnerability. A lethal threesome! After a few minutes, say something like, ‘Sorry, what were you saying? I got a bit lost there.’ It’s crucial with this one that you maintain eye contact or he really will think you drifted off through boredom.
Cheat’s version: If you can’t bring yourself to stroke your bottom lip, look at his mouth instead.

HOT STUFF (you’re doing the business)

Plenty of couples are great at playing tease games in the beginning but stop the minute they start having sex. They figure once you’ve both had your wicked way, the pretence of the chase is over. Wrong! Sustain sexual tension by capitalising on what’s been, what’s happening now – and what more there is to come. If anticipation is the name of the game (and believe me, it is), all the following will help you score:

The past: If you’re not both practically passing out at the memory of your last sex session in the beginning, something’s wrong (you need to lay your hands on a great sex book rather than each other). For most people, those early sessions are distinctly memorable because you’re trying everything together for the first time. Think of one word which describes each session (the location, position, particular body part you focused on) and you have a ‘trigger’ to use for instant erection/arousal.

The hottest session you’ve had so far was in a lift? Try whispering ‘Lift’ in their ear, just as their parent’s have greeted you for Sunday lunch. Or ‘tie me up – again’ as you board a packed tube. Triggers propel them straight into fantasy land – choose places where you can’t act on it and you’ve set up a sexual recall system which will make your last encounters seem even hotter than they were.

The present: Don’t just kiss her goodbye in the morning with a peck on the cheek, hint at what’s to come later that night (her) by cupping her face in your hands and indulging in a full-on, five-minute snog. Or hug her from behind while she’s cleaning her teeth and watch your hands caress her breasts in the mirror. Better still, grab her arms and put them around you as you’re cleaning your teeth then, with your hands over hers, use her hands to fondle your body.

She watches from behind as you run her hand over your chest, tummy, then follow the line of pubic hair downward (‘Look what you’ve done to me’) to masturbate for two exquisite minutes (bet she can’t help taking over and continuing!).

An even sexier goodbye/hello for later: as she’s about to leave, lift her skirt, pull her panties to one side and give her oral sex for 45 seconds. Just when she’s thinking ‘Sod work, I’ll be late,’ you stop abruptly, giving nothing more but a cheeky smile.

The future: Here’s a secret (not): people tend to escape into fantasy land if real life sex isn’t hot enough for them. It’s no reflection on you or your partner, by the way, just a way of humans coping with monogamy. Get them to confess to their favourite, then ask questions. Loads of them.

Say he’s gone for the classic girl-on-girl scenario. Ask ‘What am I wearing?/What’s she wearing/What does she look like?/What’s her name?/Is she a lesbian or are we both bi-curious?/Are you watching?/Is she making love to me or me to her?/Am I looking at you?/Am I secretly wishing I was with you or lost in the sensation of another woman’s tongue?/What’s happening now?/Who’s touching who?/Am I embarrassed?/What would happen if I now asked you to join us?

Even if it remains just a fantasy, it’s a hell of a sexier way to say Happy Valentine’s than a pair of bloody socks!

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