Happy 2020 everyone! I hope it’s a brilliant year for all of you.
January is, of course, the perfect time to give that lacklustre sex life a dusting off.
Help inject new blood with these easy, playful suggestions.
‘Where and how can I touch my partner in a way/place they’ve never been touched before?’
Next time you’re both naked and hugging, pull away from them and stand back a little so you can see their whole body.
Then touch it slowly and reverently, like it’s the very first time and it’s something you never, ever dreamed would be possible. Keep them at arm’s length and let your eyes alternate between intense, direct eye contact and gazing at the body part you’re touching.
The whole effect is you’re marvelling at their body. (Who doesn’t adore being adored?)
Link sex and smell
According to research, memories of sex are the quickest to fade because the feelings come from a primitive part of the brain which has little capacity to store memory.
Smell, on the other hand, has a powerful effect on memory.
Wear a particular perfume each time you have sex or burn an aromatherapy oil and your sex memories will be much easier to recall. The next time you smell the scent, your brain instantly conjures up how fab it felt – encouraging you to go for a repeat, even if you are both dog-tired.
Create living art
Paint their body with body-safe paint.
It’s sexy because you’re touching and looking at intimate parts – but you both have to wait for the paint to dry or you’ll ruin the whole effect. Being able to let loose at the end (and watching it all crack and smear) is both satisfying and super-sexy.
Call the shots
Ban intercourse for the next five sex sessions so you’re forced to discover new ways to please each other.
First session: you’re only allowed to use your mouths, no hands allowed. Second session: hands only, no mouths or tongues. Third session: only allowed to stimulate lower half of body. Fourth session: only allowed to stimulate upper half of body.
Fifth session: only intercourse allowed (and bet it’s the best you’ve had in ages!)
Have no shame
Take one of their hands in both of yours.
Start by sucking their fingers, then run their hand over your neck, down over your breasts or chest and your tummy.
Move their hand up your skirt to rub your clitoris through your knickers or unzip jeans to massage your penis.
Don’t let go at any point – their hands are a mere tool you’re using to pleasure yourself.
Reinvent the wheel
Strip for him? Puhleeze! You did that about a week into your sexual relationship, right?
Now he’s ready for the Blind Man’s strip.
Blindfold him and sit him, fully clothed, on a chair in the middle of the room. Then proceed to strip for him while giving a running commentary of what you’re up to. Dance and gyrate around and against him (letting thigh, leg, arms, breasts, touch him briefly as you flaunt that flesh) and remove items of clothing.
Stroke each item of clothing against his face, particularly under his nose, as it comes off.
When you’re completely and utterly starkers, remove the blindfold but order him to keep his eyes shut until you say ‘Open’.
When he does, it’s to be treated to the sight of you, doing just that, sprawled on the bed, totally naked and totally ready for him.
Make her guess
Blindfold her and get together a collection of everyday items with different textures – ones which feel nice against the skin and those that don’t. (A hairbrush, a scarf, a cold water bottle, a rolling pin, a hot water bottle – anything will do.)
She has to guess what’s touching her…and tell you where she’d like you to place it.