It’s not just the favourite part of sex for lots of men, intercourse is often what men think of as ‘sex’.
Well, guess what?
For lots of women, penetrative sex is the least satisfying bit. The clitoris is outside the vaginal canal, not inside, and while a penis sliding back and forth feels amazing, it’s unlikely to make us orgasm.
Which could explain why, if it goes on for too long, it can get a bit, well, boring at times.
But not if you use one of these cunning, super easy tips…
(Some of these tips are specifically for heterosexual couples but most work for most genders.)
Add pillows. They make any position feel better, more comfortable – and more doable. Drape rugs over furniture to cover pointy corners or on the floor to save you from scratchy carpet.
Do it somewhere new. Do it on the sofa, in rocking chairs and recliners, do it in the cellar and the attic for ‘secret’ and slightly scary kicks, do it on the stairs, in seedy motels, as posh a hotel as you can afford, on boats, in swimming pools, under the blanket on a plane, in a tent, in a chaffeur driven car. And then start getting creative…
Don’t lie back and let him do everything. Share the load and if you can’t do that, at least even it with enthusiasm. Thrust your hips up to meet theirs, squeeze your pelvic muscles tight every time they thrust, grab their buttocks and put your hands flat behind you on the wall behind the bed to give leverage.
Do it when you usually don’t. An unplanned spontaneous quickie wins hands down because it reminds us of sex at the oh-so-easy start.
Turn around. Our instinct is to face each other, instead face in the same direction if you’re side-by-side or they’re behind. Face in opposite directions when one of you is on top.
Put one foot on the floor when you’re on the bed, for a more stable surface to push against.
Add a vibrator so neither of you end up with hand cramps trying to play with her clitoris.
Use your legs during missionary. If you want your partner deeper inside you, push your knees into their armpits or straighten your legs and hold them high into the air, leaning them back towards your head, as though you’re trying to touch your toes on the wall behind (sounds athletic but it’s actually quite easy). Up the friction by letting them penetrate first, then hold your legs straight and together with their legs outside yours.
Don’t skip your kegels. I know I do bang on about this one. But squeezing and holding your pelvic floor muscles on a regular basis, doesn’t just make intercourse feel better their end, it’ll feel better yours as well. The more toned you are, the easier you’ll orgasm and the better it will feel. Try these if you want to take things to a new level.
Arch during rear-entry. Arch your back to pull them deeper inside, push your chest to the floor and spread your legs wider. If you want them shallower, flatten your back and keep your hips tucked under. Use your arms to alter the angle of penetration: hold yourself up on your hands or rest your chest on the bed and lay your arms flat out in front of you.
Show off on top. Spread yourself wide open with your hand and both watch his penis or a strap-on/dildo disappear inside you. Or sit them in a chair (without arms) and lap-dance: knead your breasts, play with your clitoris and tease by letting them penetrate a little before lifting yourself off…then on again. Move to an armchair, let them lie back, jump on top again, then lean back so your hands are on their knees and your legs on the top of the back of the chair.
Revamp your thrusting technique
Try one slow, deep plunge, then pull right back for four shallower pumps before doing another deep thrust. Keep repeating.
Grab their buttocks to pull their pelvis close, position your pubic bone so it’s pressing against her clitoris and grind in relentlessly slow circles.
Angle your penis different ways in each position to target different areas of the vaginal wall. The most sensitive side is usually the bit under her tummy.
It’s fine to let go and thrust hard and fast, just don’t do for ages – and stop to add more lube or reactivate the lube with saliva.
Pull them close, then tip your pelvis up and down and from side to side.
Thrust somewhere other than the obvious. Get her to hold her breasts together or try between her closed thighs. It’s a gentle, non-invasive way to have sex if she doesn’t want to have intercourse. Put some lube on your penis or a strap-on and position yourself so you’re sliding between her vaginal lips, high enough to graze her clitoris (if she’s up for it). Get her to tense her thigh muscles and hold her thighs together as close as possible.