The 3 Reasons Women Hate Giving Men Oral (and How to Address Them)
'She hates giving me oral sex! How do I get her to like it?'
This is one of the most common questions I get from men, so this one’s for you! Oral sex is one of the most pleasurable aspects of sex and to be denied it (and still expect you to continue to give it to her) is unthinkably unfair.
There are three main reasons why women don’t like giving men oral sex. Happily each has a very simple solution...
Reason no. 1: He Smells
Most women are paranoid about the smell of their genitals and quite frankly more men should be!
If she’s not keen on giving you oral sex, the first thing to check is how fresh your genitals smell. This means taking a shower before you have sex, or at the very least giving your penis a good wipe over with warm, soapy water, then rinsing with clean water.
If you’re uncircumcised, it’s imperative that you gently pull back the foreskin and wash underneath.
If you don’t, a delightful substance called smegma builds up there. Smegma is a combination of shed skin cells, oils and moisture. If you think that sounds disgusting, imagine what it tastes like when she puts your penis in her mouth if you have some lodged under the foreskin. Ewwwww!
Reason no. 2: I Gag
This happens for one of two reasons.
The first one is your fault: you’re putting your hands on the back of her head to shove her down further onto your penis. Stop doing it or she’ll, justifiably, stop giving you oral sex.
The second reason is her not using her hands during oral and/or unnecessarily trying to ‘deep throat’ and take the whole thing in.
Deep throating (a technique made famous by porn star Linda Lovelace) has huge visual and erotic appeal for many reasons but it’s a learnt technique (I’ll be teaching you how over the next month or so!) and not for the faint-hearted. If she’s gagging, she’s taking you in too deep.
It’s easily fixed - she just needs to change the position and technique she uses for maximum control.
You stand in front of her and get her to sit on the bed facing you. She should use one hand to control your penis, placing it at the bottom of the shaft. She’s now in the ultimate position to control how deeply she takes you into her mouth.
Most feeling is in the head of the penis, not the shaft, so she doesn’t need to take it in too deeply. If her hand and mouth stay welded together (get her to twist her hand as it moves up over the head) you get double stimulation and are guaranteed not to go in deep enough to cause gagging.
Reason no. 3: Swallowing Makes Me Want to Throw Up
There are two reasons she won’t swallow: she just doesn’t like the consistency of semen (sorry but it really does remind us of snotty noses!) or your semen tastes bad.
There’s a way to find out if you think she won’t tell you it’s the taste of your semen and I think you know what that is (taste a bit after you’ve been masturbating!).
Healthy semen doesn’t taste bad - it tastes a bit like alfalfa sprouts! OK, not quite chocolate but hardly off-putting.
If yours tastes really strong or funky, it’s because of your diet. Cut out the pints, crisps, curries and greasy takeaways: the healthier you eat, the better your semen will taste.
Or is it just that she doesn’t like the idea of swallowing it?
The first thing to consider is this: how important is it really? Sure, it’s a turn on when she swallows but so long as she doesn’t abandon you in the crucial moment, it really isn’t like having a hot-dog minus the tomato sauce.
Make sure she knows to continue stimulating you with your hand and suggest she lets you ejaculate elsewhere on your body - like over her breasts. Just as sexy!
If you’d like her to give it a go just once, suggest that she swallows it quickly and in one go, the way you do medicine.
There’s an inclination for women to hold it in their mouths while they work up to swallowing it. This just makes it worse - the longer it’s in her mouth, the more she’ll taste it and the queasier she’ll feel.
If she gives it the old college try and still doesn’t like it, compromise. Ask her to swallow as a special treat and let her off the rest of the time.
For more oral advice for him and her, check out Hot Positions, Must-Do's and Secret Tricks for Brilliant Oral Sex from the archives.