• Love Advice: 6 make not break tips for surviving Valentine's Day

    Ask Tracey

    Valentine's Day does worry me. I think there's tremendous pressure on people to a) be in a relationship and b) be in a terrific relationship. And Valentine's Day leaves lots of people feeling inadequate.

    Single people feel ostracized and like there's something wrong with them and people in long term relationships who are perhaps a bit bored, start worrying their relationship isn't good enough or their partner's not romantic enough. It's meant to be a day to celebrate love but it's turned into a day where lots people feel upset.

    So follow these tips and think of it as a day to celebrate all sorts of love and you'll be fine.

    1. Don't send anonymous Valentine's Day cards

    It drives people nuts. Curiosity makes you look at everyone either hopefully or suspiciously - can make us make complete twits of ourselves if think it was someone who actually didn't send it! If you must be anonymous wait until you KNOW they've got it, then call them an hour later. Keep it nice and light and jokey and they should take it the right way.

    2. Be careful about admitting the the depths of your feelings

    If you've been seeing each other for a few months and it's all going really well, it's a good idea to admit how you feel in a Valentine's Day card. But if you're sending it to someone you've fancied forever but never gone out with and you're not sure how they feel about you, no!! God, no!!! If they don't feel the same way, it's going to be doubly embarrassing for both of you.

    The thing is this - NO ONE is going to get upset if they receive a Valentine's Day card - even if it's from someone they don't fancy. It's a compliment even if you don't fancy them. If it's done in a nice lighthearted way, it is possible for both of you to feel good about the gesture even if it doesn't result in you going out. But only if the card isn't too soppy and what you've written isn't too over the top! Keep it light and sweet.

    I think you're gorgeous/stunning and wanted to let you know. Have a fantastic day!

    Your smile makes me smile every time. If you fancy a quick drink tonight, let me know! Ps No pressure if you've already got a bf or gf, friends is cool.

    3. If you get a Valentine's Day card from someone that you totally don't fancy, deal with it tactfully

    If they don't know you that well, tell them you've already got a boyfriend or girlfriend.

    If they do know you and work with you, say that think you're great but don't believe in dating someone from work (be careful and make sure they don't resign!!)

    Otherwise, tell them: "You are such a sweetheart and I am so tempted but I've promised myself not to get involved with anyone because I'm studying/going travelling/getting over an ex and don't trust my feelings."

    4. Avoid sending Valentine messages in e-mails and text messages

    Yes - especially in this case. The thing about e-mails and texts is that you can bet yours is going to be forwarded on to their friends, so they can comment on it. A card's more private and they have to physically see the friend to show them. Again, nice, light chatty, breezy. Can be as simple as 'If I wasn't so shy, I'd ask you out in person. But couldn't resist this opportunity and thought I'd send you a card just to say I think you're terrific.'

    5. Use Valentine's Day as an excuse to approach someone you've fancied afar

    I probably wouldn't slip a card into their bag or on the table in that situation. It's a bit stalkerish and if they don't realise it's you, they really are going to be driven mad trying to work out who its from. But I would use the day as an excuse to talk to them. not to say something romantic, but just to make yourself say anything to make contact. The best chat up line is what's appropriate - if they're in your local, it's something like 'So I've seen you in here a few times. Do you live around here?'

    6. Be upfront about being single on Valentine's Day

    If you're single and someone asks what you're doing on Valentine's Day, you don't have to bag it - just say 'I'm single this year so am having dinner with friends and watching a movie'. Then put the question back to them or change topic. No need to be embarrassed and saying 'I'm single this year,' sounds like you've been with someone on every other Valentine's Day.

    There is nothing to be ashamed of for being single - 42% of Londoners will be single this vd. If feeling upset, remember being single and being attached pretty much even up happiness wise. You have great moments single that you can't have attached you know!

    Valentine's Day is all about celebrating all types of love. send cards to everyone - we should do the same. Instead of thinking I haven't got anyone in my life, celebrate all the love you do have in your life such as your parents and friends.

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