Sex Advice: How to come together with a simultaneous orgasm
A simultaneous orgasm is brilliant for increasing intimacy and allows you to bond on both an emotional and physical level.
Taking turns to orgasm is not only practical - it's much harder to come together than it is in succession - it's sometimes a lot more satisfying. However, there's still a lot to be said for the simultaneous orgasm. This pleasant experience is brilliant for increasing intimacy and allows you to bond on both an emotional and physical level.
Have an orgasm first and make the 'together' orgasm the second one. Most men find they have much better control second time around.
Know your orgasm inside out so you know exactly what is going to send you over the edge. The easiest way to do this is to get into the habit of 'scoring' where you're at. Think about your last great orgasm and that gets a ten. Zero is when you're at your in-laws making small talk, i.e. no arousal at all. As you move from no arousal to lift-off, you'll move through the spectrum from one to 10. Practise rating yourself and you'll have much more control over when you orgasm, i.e. "I'm hovering around the six mark, so I can afford to keep thrusting hard for a bit longer" or "I'm definitely an eight, so I'd better stop or switch stimulation until I calm down".
Stop or switch stimulation if you climb higher than an 'eight'. If you're having intercourse, stop moving and relax inside her for a minute or so. If she's giving you oral sex, get her to come up for air and give you a nice, long kiss.
Make friends with her vibrator.If you asked me the best tip I could possibly give you to achieve simultaneous orgasm, this would be it. One of you holding a wand vibrator - slim, cylindrical and non-intrusive - over the clitoral are during penetrative sex is the most effective way to ensure a shared orgasm experience.
Use the bridge technique This is the manoeuvre that most sex therapists recommend. The basic idea is to give you clitoral stimulation up to the point of, but not actually to, orgasm and let his thrusting trigger off the orgastic reflex. This effectively provides a 'bridge' between clitoral stimulation and intercourse. He stimulates the clitoris right up to penetration, then thrusting takes over as the prime stimulation. Some studies show that up to half of women who couldn't previously climax through penetration alone were able to, without priming first, after using this technique regularly.
Choose the right position to stimulate the front vaginal wall and up your chances of orgasm. Some men say her-on-top makes it easier for them to control ejaculation; others say that being so visual and having that glorious view has the opposite effect. Decide which positions are most likely to tip you over the edge and pray like hell it's one that has the opposite effect on him!
Use your PC muscles to control orgasms. The better toned your genitals, the more control you'll have over both your orgasms. Not only can you 'milk' him with your muscles when you're ready for him to orgasm, pretty much ensuring he will too, rhythmically squeezing your PC muscles is thought to increase lubrication and your pleasure as well.
If you think he's too close to climaxing and you're not ready yet, pull down on his testicles gently to decrease his chances of orgasm. Keep your hands away from his perineum, testicles or anus until you're ready for him to climax though.