• "How do I get my girlfriend to have anal sex or use a toy anally?"


    How do I get my girlfriend to have anal sex or use a toy anally? I'd also like her to play with my bottom but don't know how to suggest it.


    Plenty of women enjoy anal sex - if - and it's a big if - it's done properly. What puts most of us of is having had the old 'Ooops, I got the wrong hole' trick pulled on us. 'Accidentally' and eagerly thrusting into an unlubricated, unprepared anus hurts. And it's put plenty of women off for life.

    The second most likely thing to put us off is you asking for it, over and over and over again which (like the threesome request) only makes us more determined not to do it. A playful suggestion that you'd like to try it - along with a 'you don't have to if you don't want to, but I'd at least like to try stimulating you with my fingers', will get you much further.

    I'd also suggest backing up your suggestion with some good articles on the topic, to allay any fears she has. Gently remind her just because something is seen as culturally 'taboo', doesn't mean it is. Not so long ago, it was 'unnatural' for women to work and only 'whores' gave men oral sex.

    Things constantly move from 'bizarre' to mainstream once society attitudes relax or change. Anal sex is one of them. My book superhotsex has a good guide to first time anal sex.

    Heat up your sex life

    Comments (5)

    • tameca: August 11, 2008 15:25
      i want to know why is it so hard for me to get orgasm
    • tracry: August 11, 2008 15:30
      i need a man to las long
    • Sarah: August 27, 2008 19:01
      Me and my boyfriend often indulge in anal play, it was first broached by me and now it is common although my boyfriend doesn't like any penetration to himself. I think you should approach it gently and don't push her- also if she is unsure try something that will fill but not thrust i.e your penis as I find that to sometimes be more uncomfortable and will probably put her off completely if she is already undecided. Hope this helps!
    • Kate: October 09, 2008 12:31
      My boyfriend asked me for ages if we could try anal sex..and after I let him use his fingers on me I decided that I'd try it in the shower. I let him and jesus christ it hurt! I think I wasn't relaxed..we haven't tried it since but I love him fingering my bum and he loves me doing it to him! Maybe one day we will go further but for now I'm happy with his fingers! Just wait until she's ready. My boyfriend said it felt no different to my proper hole as I'm that tight anyway ;)
    • JOTS2: July 13, 2011 13:32
      Do you have an opinion about anal sex? Have you ever felt pressured to do it? Are you or your friends having anal sex? Do you think it’s wrong or a natural part of sex? If you are 16-21 and want to share your thoughts on this subject Channel 4 would like to hear from you.
      Please contact teens@betty.co.uk (in confidence) for more information and write “Billie” in the subject heading.
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