• "Why is it that at the age of 34 my sex drive is so unpredictable?"


    I'm a 34 year old woman with an older husband (there's 12 years difference).

    Why is it that at this age my sex drive is so unpredictable?

    There are times when I demand it so much he can't keep up. Why is this and what can we do to make our bodies merge as one?


    Hang on to the bed head, because it's probably going to get even more erratic as you head towards menopause. Our hormones - which are what's hugely responsible for driving our libido - become increasingly unpredictable as we get older.

    This is why some days you want sex desperately and others you couldn't care less. Add to this that lots of women come into their sexual prime in their late 30s/early 40s because their attitude is a lot more relaxed, they're less inhibited, more likely to ask for what you need and much less of a people pleaser.

    How to get your libidos in sync? Keep a monthly chart for a few months and you'll probably find your libido peaks at certain times. During these times, let loose with your husband but also be prepared to look after yourself a little too.

    Masturbate in front of him if he can't get an erection and let him use his tongue and his fingers as well as his penis.

    Also let him recuperate during the times when you don't feel so turned on. Having said all that, your husband's the same age as me and that's not terribly old sexually speaking.

    My libido has risen with age, there's no reason why his can't also. Let him know how much he satisfies you and how much you like making love with him. A little ego boost goes a long way to boosting libido.

    Fix your love life fast

    Comments (1)

    • Sam: October 01, 2008 17:27
      Hi Tracey,

      I have been having this fantasy about another man having sex with my girlfriend while I watch and often join in. I have become obsessed with this dream and want it to happen but now sure how to talk to my girlfriend about this. Can you help.

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