• Sex Advice: Erection problems don't need to spoil your sex life

    Every man will experience erection problems at some point during their life but there are ways of dealing practically with it.

    For Him

    - Don't avoid sex! Confess that you're going through a weird time and just be intimate without penetration; use your tongue, hands and mouth to pleasure her instead.

    - Rule out any medical reasons for the condition and give drugs, alcohol and cigarettes the big swerve and rethink your health and lifestyle generally. If you're on any prescribed medication, ask your doctor about possible side effects.

    - Think about why it's happening - is it with all women or just this one? If it's just her, maybe you're mistaking friendship for lust or love. Sometimes, if you fancy her like mad, you're scared limp because you're so desperate to please her. Relax a little. If she's going to leave you because you can't get an erection she wasn't worth the effort in the first place.

    For Her

    - Don't take it personally. It doesn't mean your tummy is too big, he doesn't like your underwear or he fancies the blonde in accounts.

    - Don't pretend you haven't noticed, instead talk to him about it. Say, 'I know how that feels. Sometimes I want sex but I don't get wet.' Ask him if he'd like you to try to arouse him or whether he'd prefer to get some rest. The worst thing you can do is ignore it.

    - Turn it into a positive and let him focus entirely on you. Let him use his hands and tongue to bring you to orgasm. Masturbate for him. Relax and enjoy yourself - an orgasm each doesn't necessarily have to be the goal of lovemaking.

    Fix your love life fast

    Comments (2)

    • Clara: November 13, 2008 20:31
      This advice is very good. My bf sometimes experiences this, sometimes randomly and sometimes after we've tried certain positions.

      He says, 'nooo!' then we both giggle about it, then he uses his hands on me which is really nice, then I have a go at him either orally or we try a different position. If he doesn't think it'll happen, he'll tell me and we'll do something else and try again later when we're in the mood.

      The thing is, it's not actually a problem at all and if he thinks it is, it will be, as the negative thought will make it happen more.

    • jex: January 14, 2015 16:36
      my partner cheated n me,i found out,before he did this our sex life was great,he was already ready for anything with an erection,now after being with another woman,even though we have sorted things out and giving things another go,sometimes he cannot get an erection,sometimes he will then loose it,he said its been happening quite a bit even with the other woman,and now we are bk on track,its happening with me,i am thinking its something to do with guilt at what he did behind my back? or has anyone else got any ideas or advice,
    Add a comment
    1. Yes, please! Email me when there are more comments after mine
    2. We need to ask you a question to prove you're a human because evil spam computers keep abusing our form!

    Ask Tracey Cox a sex or relationship question