• "I have never had an orgasm and can't understand why. What should I do?"


    I have never had an orgasm and can't understand why. We alternate positions and are often adventurous but also sometimes romantic.

    It has got to a point where I don't enjoy having sex any more because I never get pleasure from it.


    Only 30% of women orgasm purely through penetration, so you can try all the positions you like and it's still unlikely to happen!

    The most effective way to have an orgasm is through oral sex or him using his fingers, very gently, to stimulate your clitoris. Tongues are even better, because they're soft and slippery.

    Get him to use the flat of his tongue rather than the tip and swoosh it gently around and over the clitoris, keeping the motion consistent and for at least ten minutes.

    You'll feel pressure build in the area, which will feel a little weird and overwhelming - a bit like you're going to pee yourself! Relax, you won't! That's just the blood pumping to the area to make it feel super sensitive.

    When it gets to the point where the pressure is at its greatest, the blood releases back into the body and produces the delicious feeling we call an orgasm.

    Fix your love life fast

    Comments (5)

    • JDP: March 02, 2009 20:18
      Ok, any tips for us blokes that'll help us keep our tongues going in a constant motion "for at least ten minutes" lol
    • Nik: March 02, 2009 21:52

      If your tongue gets tired, try keeping your tongue still and moving your head instead. Or switch to using your fingers (gently and well lubricated) for a bit.

    • JDP: March 05, 2009 00:08
      Thanks. I do do that, just a perfectionist and would like to be ABLE to keep the tongue going constantly for over ten minutes (without cheating lol).

      Maybe just need to get some more, er, 'exercising' in ;-D

    • frazzle: March 09, 2009 16:23
      i can get to the point of feeling to need to pee and when i am on my own i manage to relax. the problem is i do pee and all feelings of excitment goes. i just get left with a pulsating feeling. how do i go from there?
    • ems: November 20, 2009 23:52
      Yes, i'm having exactly the same problem frazzle, you're not alone. I feel really silly because even though i'm very experienced sex wise i still have never had an orgasm :(
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