• "I only orgasm through his tongue - what can I do to orgasm during intercourse or should I fake it?"


    I know that it's difficult to orgasm during intercourse but it's very important for my boyfriend that I at least try. He doesn't like the fact that I only orgasm from his tongue.

    Do you have any techniques that could up the chances of it happening? I don't want to fake it just to keep him happy.


    Why is it so important to your boyfriend? Does he need a biology lesson to know that the clitoris is outside the vagina and that's why most women can't achieve orgasm purely through penetration?

    It's one thing saying he'd like to try to make you climax while he's inside you, quite another to be insinuating there's something wrong if you don't. So fix his head first: if the pressure is on, there's no way you'll come anyway!

    Once he's been educated, you could try inviting a vibrator into your bed and one of you holding that on the clitoral area during intercourse.

    Or you could attempt the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) that's reputed to be the all-time best position for clitoral stimulation during intercourse. It's also a complicated, complex technique that requires real patience and persistence to get right because it means resisting the natural urge to thrust. If this doesn't score you a 'no hands' intercourse orgasm, nothing will.

    You start in the missionary position, but he moves up your body so just the tip of his penis inside. You wrap your around his thighs, ankles resting on his calves. Forget in-out thrusting - this is a slow, rocking, hip action based on pressure and counter pressure.

    You tip your pelvis away from him and down into the bed. As you do this, his penis will slip out almost all the way, the base pressing against your clitoris. He then pushes down with his pelvis, so he moves lower down your body and penetrates fully. Then it's your turn again.

    This is a highly simplified version of how to do it, but if you fancy it, it's detailed in full in my book Hot Sex: How to do it.

    Heat up your sex life

    Comments (2)

    • Kate: June 14, 2009 01:18
      When i have sex, i can only come when my boyfriend rubs my clit, i start to worry that his wrist is hurting and he cant be bothered every time we do it, do most women need this or is it just me?
    • Kocchan: June 15, 2009 14:56
      Most women I know rub their own clitoris most of the time during intercourse. I know I do. there's a small minority who can achieve orgasm without any external help (hand/tongue/toy)...
      I of course let him rub my clitoris too however it's not always practical especially if we're in positions where he is doing most of the work.

      It's definitely not just you, but try to rub your clit yourself sometimes to take the pressure off of his wrist ;-)

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